Line Mates & Study Dates (CU Hockey 4)

“I’ve missed you,” I hedge. I lower my head and kiss his neck. “Missed touching you.”

A small shiver runs through him.

“Are we still good for this weekend?” I ask.

“Weekend?”

“The away game. This time I won’t let you jump on my dick first. My ass is lonely.”

Kole snorts. “You know, there are other things that could help with that?”

“Like what?”

“Toys—”

“In a house where teenagers could snoop and find them?”

“Someone else …”

My hands drop faster than if he’d pushed me. “Oh.”

Kole refuses to look at me.

I step back. “Is that what’s happening here?”

He wants to put an end to this arrangement. I ignore the disappointment, but it already sits heavy in my chest.

Finally, he turns to face me. “I mean, we’re casual, right? You could go out and fuck anybody. You don’t have to wait for me to be available.”

Yep, this is definitely the blow-off speech.

It shouldn’t get to me, but it does.

Kole’s obviously realized he can do a lot better than someone like me. Someone who he can’t have a future with. Who isn’t worth disappointing his father over.

And whoa, apparently I’m thinking of further ahead than the next away game.

“Got it.” This is where I’m supposed to walk away or something, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

What we have … it started as a way to get me to study, but I’ve found myself wanting more and more of Kole.

He’s someone I can actually let my guard down with. Or, I thought he was. Now, suddenly, he wants to pull back. It can’t be a coincidence that it happened right after I had a breakdown in front of him.

“Is this because of all the emotional shit? Because I can totally go back to being an asshole. You’re a … twatwaffle.” I wince. Okay, maybe I can’t be an asshole to him.

Kole laughs. “No, this isn’t because you cried over your parents’ death. I mean, you’re a monster for it, of course, but it … it’s not why I …” He swallows, and his Adam’s apple bounces.

“Why you’re ending this?”

His hazel eyes widen. “Wait, what? Is that what I said? All I said was you’re welcome to go get sex from someone else if you’re missing it because I’ve been too busy.”

I step forward. “Is that what I said? I believe my words were I miss you.”

“You can’t,” he blurts.

“I can’t miss you?” I move even closer, and he stumbles, his back hitting the side of the cubbies.

“It’s … against the rules.” His words hold no conviction, which I find interesting. “Total casual hookup violation.”

“You going to give me a penalty? Five minutes in the sin bin?”

Kole narrows his eyes. “I’m serious, Asher. This whole kissing when we’re not studying and sharing a bed after sex … it … it blurs lines.”

Holy shit.

Holy. Shit.

“Is Mr. It’s Impossible to Fall For You Because You’re A Stupid Jock catching feelings?” I can’t stop the smile from taking over because the idea of that? My heart wants to damn explode.

“No,” he whines. It’s way too emphatic and high-pitched to be the truth though. He clears his throat, looks me in the eye, and tries again. “No.”

I sing. “I think you like me.” I add a little dance in there too. “You really like me.”

“I don’t like you so much right now,” he mutters.

“It was the crying, wasn’t it? You have, like, a tear fetish, and the tears of your partners really gets you off.”

“Nailed it,” he says dryly.

“Dude, I thought you were smart. You’re stupid if you have feelings for me.”

Kole sighs and folds his arms. “Are you done yet?”

“No. I’m not going to stop until you admit it.”

“I don’t like you.” He pushes off the side of the cubbies and tries to leave, but I quickly jump in his way. “You’re infuriating.”

“You like me anyway.”

“Asher—”

“Go out with me,” I say.

He steps back again. “What?”

“Date me.”

“You’re not the dating type.”

“Hey, I’ve dated a lot of people before. I’ve even had a girlfriend.” I mockingly gasp.

“Dating you would be detrimental for my health.”

“Went to the doctor a few weeks back, actually. All negative. So …”

Kole grunts. “That’s not what I meant, at all.”

Wow, he’s really adamant about not dating me, huh. I should be offended and disappointed, but I’m not. Because I know why he’s doing this. At least, I’m pretty sure. He’s starting to feel something for me, but it scares him because one, I am not his usual type—fair enough. Two, when it comes to being someone you bring home to the parents, I definitely do not fit that description. Three, he’s premed, I’m NHL bound—hopefully—and our schedules are nuts. Could there really be a future when we don’t know where either of us will be in two or three years?

There are so many reasons for him to want to push me away and ignore that there’s something really good between us, but I’m hoping the one reason I have to give us a shot will win out.