“This morning?”
“In general.”
“You think you can run away from your desires. Pretend they don’t exist.”
Darcy sipped his coffee. “I’ve never lied to myself about who I find attractive. I may never indulge in my fantasies, but I am aware of them. I’m from another generation. More . . . sensitive. More private. I’m not a man to drape myself in a rainbow flag and parade through town. I don’t begrudge anyone their happiness, whatever it is that makes them happy. I know I’ll be accepting of my son. But embracing it in myself is a step that seems impossible.”
“That is the saddest truth you’ve admitted to me,” Bennet said.
Darcy rubbed his palm over the lingering shadow of his beard. “Everyone has their faults, Bennet. Faults that stick with them all their life.”
“Is your biggest fault to reject love?”
“Is yours to judge for it?”
“I’ll never understand not living for love. No matter what that love looks like. That has to be unbearable.”
“It’s not so difficult.” Darcy’s Adam’s apple jutted. “When one restrains affection, attraction cannot grow.”
The husky words conveyed struggle underneath.
Bennet rounded the counter, grip tight on his mug, until he stood directly before Darcy. “Is this what you do?” Bennet said softly. “When you find yourself falling for a man?”
Darcy looked away.
The doorbell chimed, and Darcy called out to come in.
Caroline waltzed into the kitchen, delicate silk knot at her neck and a gleeful look in her eye. “Good news. The eastern bridge into Cubworthy has reopened for essential traffic.”
Relief flooded Bennet and he quickly drained the last of his coffee. “I’ll be on my way.”
Darcy’s posture crumpled with a restrained sigh, giving away his immense relief too.
Bennet laughed. Leaning in, he whispered, “It’s almost like you feel there’s a certain danger, being near me.”
Darcy whispered back, “There is.”
Darcy’s eyes beheld him steadily, almost faltering Bennet’s smile. What? Did he think Bennet might . . . corrupt him? Turn him more gay than he was?
He laughed tightly. “Then the sooner I leave, the better.”
A frown quivered at Darcy’s brow, but Bennet was done trying to decipher him any further.
Caroline jingled her keys. “Let me drive you. I have a proposal.”
“Lyon? I’m home.”
“In a minute.”
“Oh, Bennet, you’re back,” Bennet responded on Lyon’s behalf. “I missed you so much. I spent days praying the river would shrink so you could come back home. I used my time well, of course. You can see the absolutely spotless state of the apartment, and not once did I head to the pub to spy on the shearers. In fact, I didn’t think of them at all. Ice cream?”
Lyon snorted, and called again from his room. “I ate the last of the ice cream.”
You don’t say. From beside the sofa, Bennet picked up the empty carton, the spoon stuck to it. “Are you coming out at all?”
“Not right now?”
“What are you up to?”
“Not studying or anything.”
Ah.
Bennet smiled. “Take your time. We have a guest staying for a couple of days. I’ll get started . . . appreciating how clean you left everything.” He picked up Lyon’s filthy socks and marched the stench hurriedly to the bathroom.
Lyon popped his head out of his room. “Who’s the guest?”
“A Ms. Collins. Caroline’s mother’s neighbor—from Port Ratapu. She’s sewing Caroline’s costume for the Wool Ball. She’ll be staying here for the rest of the week.”
“I don’t get it. Why is she staying with us?”
“Caroline’s house is undergoing renovations. She forgot to inform Ms. Collins about it and asked if I wouldn’t mind her crashing with us.”
“Why doesn’t this Collins stay at Darcy’s where you were?”
Exactly what Bennet had asked. “Apparently Darcy’s place is too far from the village center. Ms. Collins is so looking forward to the Wool Ball, Caroline doesn’t want her to miss it should the river flood again.”
“You don’t believe her?”
“My guess is she doesn’t want the competition.” Bennet picked half-drunk coffee mugs off the coffee table. “This is all win-win-win.”
Lyon trundled over and sheepishly helped Bennet truck the dishes into the kitchen. “How is everyone winning?”
“We get public support for our event; Caroline inches closer to the future she deserves; Ms. Collins doesn’t have to spend her time with a rigid, stubborn man who despises happiness.”
Both Lyon’s brows shot up. “I see you had a fun time.”
You’ve no idea. “Charlie’s coming for dinner tonight, too.” Bennet opened the fridge for inspiration and grimaced. He eyed Lyon’s slim form. “Where does it all go?”
“Liking shearers takes a lot of energy.”
Bennet surveyed the living room once more. “Yeah. You’re picking up all the tissues.”
Bennet climbed the grocery store ladder to reach Lyon’s favorite muesli and had the funny feeling he had an audience. He looked down. All three patrons suddenly smiled at him. One pointed to their phone. “You get lots of attention on the forum.”
Balancing on the ladder, he fished for his phone. The online community board read: