Sam's Secret (Icehome)

I laugh, because it's a ridiculous thing to say. I just can't stop staring at him because he's so very different. What are they feeding them over in Croatoan? Sessah's hands are enormous, along with the rest of him. I stare at his big body, at the chiseled abs that ripple down his middle to the short fluffy fur kilt he wears over leggings. His boots are equally fluffy, and he's not wearing a cloak, just a backpack brimming with supplies that looks ridiculously small on those huge shoulders. His hair's grown longer, too, and he wears it in a tight French braid that starts at his hairline and goes all the way down his back.

He's just…my goodness.

I can't stop staring at him. He looks great, and I'm just about to tell him so when I put a hand to my chest and realize my heart is still thundering. That seems strange, as I'm no longer nervous. Maybe it'll take a little to calm down. "So you guys…walked? Didn't want to wait for Ashtar for a ride?"

"Rokan said it would be good weather, so we enjoyed the trip," Lila says, signing in tandem with her words. She then picks up her daughter, pulling a handful of snow out of chubby pale blue fingers, and smiles at me. "It was a good journey but I am glad to see the beach!"

Rokan speaks again, bending over to tighten a tie on Rollan's boot, but I don't pay attention. My heart's still thundering, and I'm starting to suspect something else is going on. If anyone's noticed other than me, they haven't said anything. I glance over at Sessah. He laughs, the sound rich and gorgeous, and my heart thunders louder.

Oh.

Oh no.

I give them a frozen smile and put my hands on my hips. "Well, you guys know the way to the village, right? I've got to go grab my equipment because I left it by a tide pool." I speak quickly, backing away. "Can't let the crabs carry it off or I'm going to spend days making it all over again. It's nice to see you all and I'll catch you at dinner!"

"Do you need help?" Sessah asks, scratching at his bare lower belly with one of those enormous mitts.

Fucking heat rushes between my legs. "Nope! I'm good!" I bark out. With that, I turn and practically run away from them, fighting the urge to burst into tears again. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck.

This is my second-worst-case scenario.

Worst-case scenario is Brad's arrival on the beach.

Second-worst? Resonance. And it sounds like it just happened. I have to get away from here.

2

SESSAH

I stare after Sam. I cannot stop looking at her, at the curve of her hips as she races away from us, her sunset-colored braid bouncing against her shoulders. I remember thinking that she was attractive, but I do not remember being struck by her like I am now. The sight of her hit me like a fist.

Aehako says that when resonance hits, it feels like a sudden faceful of snow. That is how I feel right now, but I touch my chest and my khui is silent. Not that, then.

Just Sam's beauty.

My ever-knowing brother sees the awestruck look on my face and pauses. "Is it…"

I shake my head.

He nods slowly, digesting this.

I flush under his scrutinizing gaze. My decision to come to Icehome is not completely innocent. Lately I have been feeling restless, my dreams full of female touches and longing that not even a quick stroking of my cock will fix. I have always had my eye on the females, fascinated by their soft curves and laughter. I am entranced by their smiles, their fragility, their quick minds, and I hunger for a mate of my own. I would love nothing more than a female to call mine, and my dreams have always been filled with this longing.

But lately, it has been…different. I have never felt this restlessness. This dissatisfaction with everything around me, as if the air itself is a poorly made tunic with seams that fight against me.

It was only when my older brother Rokan spoke that things made sense.

Two Hands of Days Ago

I growl down at the skin I am working on. My hands are not steady. My thoughts are elsewhere, and I have torn a hole into the soft hide, scraping so hard. Now it is ruined, another one for Hemalo or Kashrem to test their dyes upon. A waste. I toss it aside, frustrated, and run a hand over my plated brow.

Rokan is there watching me. My older brother, so perfect at everything he does. I give him a weary smile. "Your brother still has much to learn when it comes to skins. I do not have the patience that Hemalo does."

"Something bothers you," Rokan states.

I shrug. How do I tell him? That my thoughts are scattered? That my skin crawls with restlessness at night and I cannot sleep? That I live in a state of distraction?