Sam's Secret (Icehome)

"Feel better?" I ask.

He grunts.

"I don't," I admit. "I don't think that helped."

"Nothing will help until we fulfill resonance," Sessah says.

"Shit." Some of the sah-sah haze is clearing from my mind, and I could just cry. "Do you feel…trapped? By it?"

He's silent for a long moment and then looks over at me. "Will you be upset if I say no?"

I shake my head. I get it. This is a dream for him, even if it's a nightmare for me. "We're friends. You should be able to tell me anything, remember?"

Sessah turns on his side, propping up on one elbow to regard me. His gaze roams over my naked body, and that possessive look is back in his eyes. It should terrify me, but the khui's purring increases and it actually feels good. "I do not feel trapped," he admits. "I feel joy. The only sadness I have is that you do not feel the same."

My mouth goes dry. "But you won't touch me, right? You can't."

He shakes his head. "Not until you wish for me to. I can wait for you."

That makes one of us. Already, my body prickles with awareness of how close he is. I'm going to be needy and aching all over again in a matter of minutes, which sucks. I hate resonance.

Sessah gazes down at me. "You promised you would tell me your secrets, remember?"

I groan, because I do remember and my drunkenness is quickly fading. "Is there more sah-sah?"

"It is that bad?"

"No, I just want to be drunk before I have to talk about Brad." I make a face at the memory of that asshole.

Sessah hesitates, and I could swear even his post-orgasm chub droops a little. "Brad?"

I sigh heavily. "Brad."

"Your mate back home," he states, his voice oddly stilted. "Is that why you find being my mate unappealing?"

For some reason, I hate that he thinks like that. "You're not unappealing, Sessah."

"But you ran away."

"Because I don't want to be anyone's mate. Not you, not anyone."

"Because your heart belongs to this Brad."

A choked laugh bubbles up in my throat. My heart belonging to Brad? Never. "I hate Brad, Sessah. I hate him so much. Love him? Never. He tried to kill me."

11

SESSAH

I am not certain I have heard her correctly. Perhaps my khui is too loud in my ears, because what she says does not make sense to me. "What do you mean, he tried to kill you?"

Sam's lovely face contorts, and for a moment, she looks as if she will cry. "I mean just that. You guys don't have stalkers here, do you. So you're not going to really understand what I'm talking about." She reaches out and pats my shoulder, and her fingers trail over my skin, lingering a moment longer than necessary. "Let me explain everything."

I reach over her to get more sah-sah, since she is growing tense. I have loved every moment of laughing, happy Sam with me in this cave, and I do not want her to retreat once more. If I must keep her drunk and giggling, so be it. She is safe with me at her side. I will protect her from everything. She can relax when she is with me. "Drink more. When you are ready, we will speak of it."

"I'm not sure I'll ever be ready," Sam says, but she sits up and takes the container from me. As she does, her fingers brush mine, and my entire body tightens pleasurably. The scent of her cunt is still on her fingers, reminding me of what we both did recently. She watched me stroke myself, watched me with intense interest. I do not think she hates the idea of being with me as much as before.

I hope.

Sam takes several large gulps of sah-sah, her eyes glazed when she sets it down. "That's better." She licks her lips and then slides back down onto the rocks next to me. A shiver overtakes her, and I automatically pull her closer to my larger, warmer body. She stiffens against me and I realize what I have done, but she does not pull away. She hesitates for a moment, and then carefully puts her head on my chest, and I feel as if I have scaled the largest mountain.

"I met Brad when I was eighteen," she says, her voice low and soft.

My instincts flare, and already I do not like him. I do not like how carefully she says his name, as if it is the last thing she wants on her tongue.

"I worked at a coffee shop right after high school. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, so I was taking a year off to relax and just enjoy life." She moves a little closer to me, her breath fanning on my chest, and I curl my arm protectively around her. "And I met Brad there. He was a client that would come in and order a black coffee every day. He was cute, too, and had big muscles, and he was seven years older than me, and I was just smitten, you know? So I'd write these cute little messages on his cup every time he ordered."