Sam's Secret (Icehome)

"That's right," Kvasaht jeers behind us. "You—"

I turn around and glare at him before he can finish his sentence. "If you don't want to end up as a fur rug, you'll shut the fuck up and go away for a while." I give him a warning look. "And if you ever put a hand on me, I'll kill you myself. Being a murderer is not who Sessah is, but it's absolutely who I fucking am. So don't try me, buddy. Just don't even fucking try."

Kvasaht blinks. He looks at Sessah, standing behind me, and then back to me. That sneer curves his cat-mouth again, but he turns away and climbs up the vines, back to his bedding far above.

I don't move until he disappears from sight. Sessah's big body is tense at my back, but he's not going after him, so that's something. I'm sure later it'll kick in and I'll shake like a leaf at Kvasaht's disgusting comments. About how he thinks I'm just a fucktoy to be passed around. I shouldn't be surprised, considering we were kidnapped by aliens for that very fate, but right now my focus is on Sessah. I turn and look at my big blue…friend? Lover? Mate? I'm not sure what we are just yet.

I'm afraid I already know the label, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit it to myself.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly, putting my hands on his chest again since he seems to respond well to that. He still looks utterly murderous. I've never seen him so angry, and if steam came out of his nostrils, I wouldn't be surprised. "Talk to me."

"He wants you." Sessah grits the words out between his teeth.

"Maybe…maybe he doesn't realize that we're bonded. Maybe he thinks we're just fooling around? That we're not mates? That it's not something special between us?" I pet his chest, running my fingers lightly over his skin.

Sessah's expression softens, losing that murderous anger. He reaches up and cups my cheek. "Is that what we are in your eyes? Have you decided?"

Oh boy. I didn't realize I was going to have to give an answer right now. "I mean, has it ever been my decision? The khui decides, remember?"

He continues to caress my face, brushing those thick, callused fingers over my skin. "That does not mean I am not aware of how you feel. I have been waiting for it to be your decision." He grazes his thumb over my lower lip. "And I will continue to wait if need be."

I nod, leaning into his touch. "I think…maybe when we're alone again…I'd like to try."

Sessah's eyes light up with joy.

"But not with Kvasaht nearby." I wrinkle my nose, because I think us “marking” me with Sessah's scent was a bad call. I didn't care if he watched before, because I thought it would show him that we were together and happy. Instead, it's just reminded him that someone's getting laid and it's not him.

A low rumble of anger breaks through the song of our khuis. Sessah's glaring again. "I hate him. I do not know how to handle his words. He…he does not fit in with our people."

"I know," I say softly. I cradle his hand in mine, giving him a little smile. "So until we figure things out with him, we'll stay here. He's a jerk and an asshole, but he might just be all talk."

"Or he might try something." Sessah's expression grows dark.

I think of my knives, tucked away throughout the cave, and the ones worked into the seams of my tunic. "Then we'll make sure we're ready if he does try something. We'll stay on alert."

"And a khui?" Sessah asks. "Do we get him one?"

Oh god. I don't know the answer to that. It's a death sentence for Kvasaht if we don't. At the same time, how can we take him back to the others if he thinks women are little more than toys? The worst thing possible would be Kvasaht resonating to someone here on this planet and we're stuck with him forever. I think about the cuff on his leg and how much he knows about prisoners…

And for the millionth time, I wish we'd left his pod in the snow and walked away. Ugh.

"Let's give it another day," I tell Sessah. "That can't hurt anything, right?"

22

SESSAH

I do not sleep that night. Sam curls up at my side, but I stay awake, watching and waiting, my spear hidden at the edge of the cloak I sleep on. I do not trust Kvasaht. He will try something, I think. It is merely a question of when. I fear for Sam's safety. If he thinks she is for the taking, I cannot leave her side.

If something were to happen to Sam…I could not forgive myself. She is mine to protect. I cannot fail her.