“The music’s on, all his naked heat pressed against me, thrusting shallowly. I still feel cold. But then . . . I breathe in the smell of the river—and I close my eyes and . . . his face comes to my mind.”
I meet Ethan’s darkened gaze. My voice catches. “I claw him closer, tasting our swim on his shoulder, and I’m suddenly trembling and excited under him. I picture his broad chest, his toned muscles, the scar at his hip. All of it becomes the weight against me. He’s a big warm blanket around me and I snuggle into it. I know tonight, I’ll go all the way. I want to give him more. I want us to merge together, want to feel every inch of skin around me, in me.
“Eventually exploring hands grab at my arse and part my cheeks and my heart drumrolls. My fingers clutch his back as lube glides coolly over my hole.”
Ethan swallows thickly.
I’m being detailed. Too detailed, maybe. But I need to be.
He has to feel it. So when he looks back, he might mistake it for his own memory.
“He snaps a condom on and then his hard cock rubs against me, his breath heavy at my jaw. He shifts, using his hand to align himself just right. I feel him tremble; I can feel how much he wants me. Needs me. It’s overwhelming. His tongue invades my mouth; every inch of my skin is thrumming and tingling.”
Ethan’s breath is thin between us. His dick is as hard as mine—I felt it briefly against my shin. His hands shift under the cotton sheets and stop.
“The tip of him enters me and he stills, and then he can’t stay still. We’re groaning as he pushes deep, deep, deep inside me. It aches. My body resists, just for a moment. Then I taste river again, and my toes curl and my legs spread against the sheets as my sphincter stretches around him. His tongue darts around the shell of my ear, and his grunts are hot and wet and ticklish. He wants more, I can feel it. He’s trying to hold back but he can’t. His dick comes out of me to the tip and he thrusts back in, harder and deeper than before. He’s all the way inside me. I feel like I couldn’t possibly be fuller.”
I find Ethan’s shaking fingers and steer them to his satin-covered, rigid length. Permission.
His fingers freeze.
“Fin,” he warns croakily.
“It’s just release,” I say, nonchalantly. No big deal. It’s a lie, but it’s a lie we need. Justification to cling to as we ease our desperation. His fingers twitch. He wants this so much, yet a chasm lies between us. “We would have done it in our own beds. We’re just . . . doing it here. Anyone would, listening to this story.”
I shuffle away from him, breaking all bridges. It’s a compromise he can make excuses with.
His hand moves under the covers.
I whisper, “I shut my eyes tighter. I see him hovering over me as he pushes in as far as he can go. Lust slackens his lips, but his eyes are looking right into mine, and amongst the mounting arousal there’s tenderness. A smile. A promise.
“I relax under him then, and he feels it. He wants to make me feel as incredible as he feels; his kisses soften as he pumps into me.
“The burn fades and his thrusts become addictive. My slightly softened cock gets hard again. Every bit of you, his body seems to say. I want everything. In and out of my virgin-tight arse, and I’m right with him. I want this to be as good for him as it is for me. I lock my arms around his back and urge him on.”
The slick sound of Ethan’s moving hand almost has me grabbing myself. I refrain. I prop myself on an elbow and lean toward him, not touching, but close.
“Fuck me like you want to live in me, I say in his ear.”
Ethan buries his face in my sheets.
“He turns into an animal on top of me. He pounds into my arse and it feels unbelievable. Electric. It’s the highest cliff I’ve climbed and I’m still climbing.
“He says something I don’t hear, but I know what he’s supposed to say. I never want to leave.”
Ethan croaks. Little bursts of air puff out from the moving sheet.
“He grows harder inside me, and my veins sing. I hold on to his bulging shoulders and scratch at his skin. Faster and harder. I squeeze my eyes closed, as tight as I can, so I can see his face looking down at me.
“My heart beats wildly and my legs wrap around him. Pleasure zips through me, up and down, more and more. I reach around and clumsily probe his crack. Not deep enough from this angle, but I want to tell him, one day I’d like to be inside you, too.”