I shoved my hands into my pockets and rocked back on my heels. Cooper had always been the loudmouth who knew exactly what to say. He was usually the one who reassured me that everything would be okay, and I preferred it that way.
I had a good sense of how to be a great and loyal friend, but I was completely lost—as lost as he looked—when it came to predicting the future.
“Okay,” I said, trying to find the right words to improve his outlook without blowing a bunch of smoke up his ass. “Nobody has a crystal ball. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day or a year down the road. We have to trust our guts and do what we can to make good things happen for ourselves. Isn’t that what you’re always saying when I’m on a low?”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “You aren’t supposed to use my words against me, jackass. But thanks. I should go back and apologize to her.”
“And tell her we really will be okay with whatever she decides,” I said, reminding myself as much as him. “No matter how hard it might be to accept.”
As much as it hurt to admit, we had to face the possibility that a relationship with Poppy wasn’t in our destinies. Not because we all three didn’t want it, but because it wasn’t fair to any of us if she had to choose between her family and us.
I never wanted to put her in that position, anyway, and Cooper didn’t, either.
“Well,” Cooper sighed and clapped me on the shoulder. “I guess we should get back.”
Her small voice behind me sounded determined. “Can we all stay over here for a few more minutes?”
Chapter Twenty Nine
Poppy Evans
I hadn’t overheard everything they’d said, but I’d heard enough that I was having a really hard time holding back my emotions.
Nolan had spent his whole life letting Cooper do the talking, so hearing him tell his best friend they were going to be okay nearly made me break down right then and there.
I hated that they were both upset because of me. I hated that I’d let my dad berate me and talk down to them. Those ranchers had only stood there and taken his abuse out of respect for me, and that fact made me feel even worse.
“Do you want to talk?” Nolan asked me as I took a step toward them.
“Not really.” I nibbled at my bottom lip. “I didn’t want to interrupt. But I need to apologize for... everything.”
Cooper shook his head. “You don’t owe us an apology. But I owe you one. I shouldn’t have acted like an ass earlier. I got frustrated, and I let it get the better of me.”
Nolan took his hands out of his pockets and then shoved them back in again. “I should, uh, probably apologize, too. I started asking all those questions when I should’ve let things calm down.”
“Can we all forgive each other and pretend like today never happened?” I smiled. “Or better yet, turn back the clock to when we were all in bed together? And then forget to answer the phone when Vic starts calling?”
They both laughed. “Fuck,” Cooper shoved a hand back through his hair. “If only we could. That sounds like pure heaven to me.”
“It was pure heaven,” Nolan agreed. “And yeah, I’d go back to that in a heartbeat if we could.”
“I don’t want us to be angry with each other,” I said. “I’ve already wasted all these years being pissed at the whole thing when I didn’t have to be. I don’t want to be that way anymore. At least, not with the two of you.”
They both opened their arms to me as Nolan reached out to pull me in for a hug. “We don’t want that, either,” Cooper said. “No matter what else happens, we don’t want to go back to the way things were before.”
Nolan shook his head as he gently rubbed small circles on my back. “We were never angry with you, though, Poppy. We’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you our side of the story.”
“And now we’ve done that,” Cooper kissed the top of my head. “That’s why I was so insistent when we were at the rehearsal dinner. Nolan and I couldn’t stand the idea of going on for six more years without you in our lives. That just wasn’t going to happen.”
I buried my face against his chest while he and Nolan both held me. Every time I remembered how I’d never given them a chance—how I’d been so caught up in the damage to my reputation that I’d completely disregarded the hell they’d been going through—I started to get angry with myself all over again.
I didn’t deserve their understanding or their patience, but I was so, so grateful. If they hadn’t kept trying to get through to me... no, I didn’t even want to imagine a world where I’d stayed hurt and upset with them for a single minute longer than I already had.