Rise (Rock God 1)

“That’s the thing about love—fucking amore. It comes at you like a bullet ripping into your skin and can take you out.” I laugh. “There’re all kinds of love.” I take a swig of Jack and pace the stage. “Good, bad, toxic, exciting. The kind that comes at you and you know it’s unhealthy, but you do it anyway, right?” I lift my hand, grasping the bottle, and they scream that they understand.

“How about the ones who leave and run away like a fucking rat? They take a part of you with them. Yeah, how about those?” I nod as my eyes see double and I reach for the microphone to stabilize me.

“How about the ones who turn your love ugly?” I scream, and they answer me. It vibrates loudly in my chest and I reach for my heart.

“This next song I wrote as a love song, but I’ll let you all decide.” I take a drink and turn to look at Cash who shakes his head. I ignore him and tell Ammo to follow. As I let my guitar scream, Nuke picks up the tune and Ammo joins in.

“There’s been a lot of talk lately about my personal life. Shit that means nothing. But this meant something. I wrote it for another, but it belongs to you.” I nod at the crowd. The earth pounds as they chant, showing their gratitude with lights from phones and lighters.

“Fuck you, Gia.” The words vibrate around the arena. Suddenly I’m not numb. I’m alive and angry and so fucking in love with her it hurts.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Baby, I don’t want to see you cryin’.

But I can’t live without your love.

This hunger that eats me up, only your lips can cure.

I make everyone bleed.

But that’s nothing compared to my heart.

It bleeds for you.

It’s strong and powerful. And mine beats for yours.

It beats for you.

Let me match your breathing; let me steal your breath, rest my racing mind.

For this moment, I’m at peace.

I can’t make you love me. I can’t control your heart.

But baby, mine is yours.

It beats for you.

It beats for you.

“Thank you, my friends.” I lift my hand. “Rome, you rock. I love you all. Good night!” I leave without a backward glance. I know they want an encore, but I’m too raw right now. I sense Sebastian following me as I head to the green room.

“Granger? Hold up.” I stop and look up at the fluorescent lights as our team runs past. Ammo is playing a solo for the encore, I guess.

“Stay away from me, Sebastian. If you want to live, stay the fuck away.” I start walking again.

“I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but I fucked up. I’m a big enough man to acknowledge it.”

“What?” I turn to see the camera off and hanging by his side.

“I’m not in love with you, so I see things differently. But Gia is.” He shakes his head, almost like he can’t quite believe it.

“She ran from you also?” I laugh, but it’s bitter and hollow.

“She never runs from me. Her heart was yours from the day we met, and I don’t think I really acknowledged it until right now.” He nods at me, a shine of tears in his eyes.

“Look, man.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I can’t tell you what to do. But I can come clean for my own self. I wanted Gia away from you. I pushed her to leave. I thought you would hurt her. But the thing is, I’m the one who’s hurting her, and I can’t live with that. She deserves the world. And it’s not my place to pick who she shares it with.”

I shake my head. “Don’t beat yourself up. She’s never trusted me. She would have left sooner or later.” I turn, needing a fresh bottle of Jack, a cigarette, and some Italian pussy.

“She loves you, Granger!” The sharp echo of his voice is like a knife stabbing me in the back. “She always has. There was a ghost in our relationship and that was you. I thought eventually I could make her forget. But that never happened. You deserve to know the truth.”

My hand stops before I open the door. “You talk to her?” I close my eyes against opening up more pain.

“I have. She’s in LA at Axel’s wedding.” I nod, then swing open the green room door as I hear my brothers riding the high that only our fans’ love can give us.

I take a breath and turn as I pull my phone out. Ignoring the whispers, I pass everyone and keep moving. Someone calls my name; it sounds like Ammo.

But I’m done with all this shit.

I’m done running.

GIA

Present – Twenty-five years old

Los Angeles, California

“I can’t believe you.” I look over at Julianna. Wearing an incredible pink chiffon halter dress and heels to die for, she looks like an angel. But clearly Julianna has become a devil since she came strolling in right when I was getting ready to call Blade and tell him one of his guys kidnapped my friend.