Sophy gave her grandmother a sideways look only to receive an innocent stare in return.
“I am surprised you remembered me,” Sophy said, a little breathlessly, and then wondered if she had betrayed herself too much.
James’s eyes slid over her features and then he smiled. “I assure you, Miss Harcourt, you are not easily forgotten.”
His curricle and matching greys had drawn quite a crowd by the time they were ready to leave. Several small boys were gathered around the fashionable vehicle, studying it with wide eyes, and th
eir mothers watched Sophy with envious ones. James’ visit had given the residents in their quiet little street much to talk about.
Soon they were trotting toward the park. James was very solicitous, worrying if she was warm enough, and whether she was comfortable. She had never been in a curricle before and it felt new and exciting.
Sophy was keeping up her side of the conversation but suddenly James seemed distracted. They had reached the park gates and he glanced around him, as if looking for someone or something, and she had to repeat her comment on the weather. Perhaps it was just his manner? Sophy let the conversation lapse—she was just as comfortable with silence—and instead gazed about them in delight.
The last time she had been to Hyde Park she had seen Adam with some of his comrades. It seemed a great deal had happened since then, though really it wasn’t all that long ago. She was pleased with herself that remembering their conversation did not give her more than a slight pang.
The morning was still young, and there was a milky mist lying low on the ground. This was a popular place for a morning gallop and each time one of the riders passed by the mist swirled about the horse’s hooves.
Sophy was normally an early riser and she found she was enjoying herself. She tried not to be surprised that she could enjoy herself. More than likely it was James’s company and the lack of any need to pretend to be someone she wasn’t.
And then Harry and his intended arrived.
Sophy recognised them at once. Both mounted on fine horses, Harry wore a sober brown jacket and breeches, but he would be handsome in anything. In contrast, Evelyn was all bright colours, her riding outfit the height of fashion. Their heads were close, intimately close, as they conversed. Harry rode off ahead, and then turned to smile over his shoulder at his future bride, calling out something that Sophy could not hear. Evelyn laughed back at him, and it was suddenly so blindingly obvious that they were meant to be together.
The delight Sophy had felt in her unexpected outing had vanished in an instant.
“Miss Harcourt?” James’s voice finally reached her. He was leaning in close to her, his blue eyes full of alarm, one of his gloved hands covering hers while the other held the reins. She blinked at him.
“Are you well?” he asked her. He seemed genuinely concerned and yet … she sensed that there was another emotion lying underneath. Troublingly, it felt as if he was not so much perturbed by her reaction as satisfied with the result.
“I am well,” she assured him. “I apologise. I … It is so early.”
It was a ridiculous excuse and he must have thought so too, but he accepted it and for a little longer they continued on beneath the trees with their bright green leaves. Harry and his future bride were gone now, vanished into the mist, and she didn’t look for them again.
The bleak emptiness in her life that she had believed was beginning to dwindle had returned in full force and Sophy struggled to put on a happy face.
James seemed to sense their outing was at an end, and he took her home. There was a ball being held in three nights time, and after asking her if she would be attending and securing a dance with her, he departed.
“What a pleasant gentleman.” Her grandmother spoke rather tentatively, her eyes watchful. “And fancy tracking you down to Lambeth? He must be keen, Sophy.”
Sophy didn’t know what he was. She just wanted to be left alone to lick her wounds. She should have told her grandmother she saw Harry in the park but she didn’t. She didn’t want to rake over all the painful memories again. She wanted to sink into her bed and drag the covers over her head and weep herself to sleep.
She remembered the adoring smile on Harry’s face as he turned to Lady Evelyn, and the way she smiled back at him. For some reason the truth felt so much more real now. Harry was lost to her forever and acknowledging that fact swept her with a dark grief so powerful, so overwhelming, that it made every part of her ache.
Chapter 17
SOPHY
Susan knew something had happened to set her back. Sophy tried to pretend everything was all right, but she felt breathless, restless, as if her skin didn’t fit properly. She kept remembering Harry and Evelyn in the park, and no matter how she tried to push the image away it stuck to her like toffee on her fingers.
“Enjoy yourself, my love,” her grandmother called, as she made her way out to the coach. Mrs Harding was waiting for her, her face expressionless, while her two daughters hugged Sophy and smiled, as if they were all the best of friends.
What would they think, Sophy wondered, if they knew that Harry had carried her to the heart of Pendleton and made her his in body as well as soul? That she was no longer a virgin? Would they be shocked and appalled? She had never told anyone about their night together, not even her grandmother, and now there were times when she wondered if it had been nothing but a dream.
She stretched up and found his mouth with hers. “I love it when you kiss me,” she whispered. “I want you to kiss me all the time, Harry.”
He smiled. “And so I will. All the time.”
Sophy blinked and glanced about her. She had been lost in her own memories, memories that made her squirm in her seat, but thankfully no one was looking at her. She hadn’t meant to think about that night, she tried very hard not to. What was the point of revisiting a time when she had been a foolish girl, now that she was older and wiser?