Meant To Be (Pendleton Manor 1)

She heaved a sigh and stared into the distance, as if reliving a moment of great pain. “We were going to marry, and we were in love. At least, I was. I was so happy and looking forward to our lives together, then my brother discovered James had a mistress.” She looked at him quickly. “And yes, I know that is not uncommon. I am not so naïve that I would expect any gentleman of means to forgo his priv

ate pleasures. Even a married gentleman. Except that James said he loved me and he had promised me he would not keep another woman, not so long as he was bound to me, so I was hurt in a way that made me want to hurt him. I broke off with him.”

“With your brother’s consent?”

“Oscar can be very protective of me. He believed I loved James too much and that I should have been more pragmatic.”

“He wanted you to turn a blind eye,” Harry guessed.

“I’m not sure he did. It was Oscar who brought me the proof of James’s infidelity. He wanted my husband to be someone whom he could control, just as he does my mother and myself, and James was not that man.” She bit her lip harder and he saw the red marks of her teeth on the plump flesh.

“Does he think he can control me?” Harry asked. “I assure you he cannot.”

“You do not enjoy London, Harry. You will be in the country most of the time and I will be in London. He thinks essentially nothing much will change. That is how he will control you.”

Harry felt a chill but before he could speak she went on. Her voice was soft now, and desperate, and she wasn’t smiling any more.

“When you asked for my hand I thought I could love you as I did James. I was certain I could. Everything about you made me believe love was just a breath away.” She stared at him as if begging him to believe her. “You are a good man, Harry. I can see that. You have a good heart, and I promise you I will try to make our marriage a happy one.”

“Evelyn,” he said gently. “I know you will try. I know I will try. I’ve been telling myself that ever since we became engaged. But last night I finally understood that that isn’t what we both want or need. I think you are still in love with James.”

“And you are in love with someone else as well.” Evelyn sighed. “That girl at the ball,” she said. “The one you ran after at our announcement. The one last night at Monkstead’s house. I see her everywhere, Harry. My mother thinks she is pursuing you!”

“Quite the opposite. She is avoiding me because I hurt her badly in the past. Her name is Sophy and I have tried to forget her, and for a time I thought that I had, but now I know I never will. In truth, I don’t know if I can win her back, but I have to try. I think any chance of true happiness I have for my future will be through her.”

Evelyn had sat listening to him in silence, taking in his words. She looked broken, but perhaps she had been broken for some time. Underneath the smiles and the composure, Evelyn had been struggling.

“Evelyn?” he prompted her. “Should the two of us be miserable when the remedy seems clear? We must break off our engagement and cancel the wedding.”

She gasped and made as if to protest.

Harry carried on before she could speak. “I know it cannot be done lightly, and I know that it will not be without pain. I know your brother will be angry for a time and you must bear that, but I promise you … I promise you, Evelyn, that I will take all the blame. And afterwards I will do my utmost to reunite you and James, despite Oscar’s objections. I understand the two of you have much to work out, but if you think he is the man for you, and you believe he is the only one Oscar cannot control, then I think you must give him another chance. Now I must know if you are willing to make this step with me.”

He waited, watching her. She stared at her gloved fingers, twisting them around her riding crop, and he could only imagine the thoughts flitting through her head, the fears and the doubts, the disappointments. Would she find the courage she needed to set them both free? Or would she subject them to a marriage neither of them truly wanted?

Finally she seemed to rally. “I know you’re right. It isn’t fair we should both be unhappy when there is hope ... But, Harry, you must understand that Oscar will refuse to release you from your promise. No matter what you say. And he will see it as another failure on my part and he will punish me. If you go then I will be his prisoner until he finds someone else, and I fear that someone may not be such a gentleman as yourself.”

“And what of James—?” Harry began tentatively.

She sighed. “Although he betrayed me and I rejected him, I have often wondered if it was as simple as it seemed. I know James wanted to see me for days afterwards but Oscar refused to allow it.”

“Then at the very least you need to talk to him privately, without your brother being present. Evelyn, believe me, I can’t be happy if you are not. If your brother tries to marry you to some old titled gentleman who has already outlived several other wives, then I will challenge him to a duel.”

She gave a shaky laugh. “A duel? Oh Harry …”

“I mean it. I have wronged both you and Sophy. I plan to do all in my power to see that you have no more recriminations to throw at my head.”

“How very noble of you,” she teased but her gaze said she found his promises every bit as gallant as he’d hoped.

She stared back at him a moment, her thoughts her own, and then she said, “What are you intending to do, Harry?”

“I will behave in such an appalling manner that your family and friends will take your part,” he said quietly. “No one will expect you to swallow the insult and still marry me.”

Her dark eyes went wide. “A scandal, you mean?” she whispered. “Oh Harry, I don’t know if I can—”

“Your reputation won’t be sullied, Evelyn. If we play our cards right, you will be the object of sympathy, even admiration. Not a single thread of blame will attach to you. I will be the one to be sullied.”

“But your reputation in London will be ruined.”