She reached up blindly to his cheek and he felt her fingertips trace the line of his scar. He froze, thinking now she would pull away with distaste—it had happened before. But of course this was Averil and what she did was lean back in his embrace and look at him with her direct gaze.
“How were you injured?”
She went to stroke him again, but he caught her hand in his and brought it to his mouth instead. “Don’t you listen to the gossips?” he murmured.
“Well, there was some talk of a duel,” she said, obviously embarrassed that she had eavesdropped on the tittle-tattle. “Or-or a scuffle in an alley over a-a card debt or a lady’s honor.”
He snorted. “Very romantic, but I’m afraid it was nothing like that. My wife’s brothers decided I needed to be taught a lesson and they thought they were the men to do it. Like the cowards they were, they cornered me one night on my way home, and did their best to kill me.”
Averil’s gray eyes widened in shock. “But why?”
“They blamed me for something that wasn’t my fault,” he said in a short, clipped way that dared her to ask more.
And he could see that she did want to ask. Her lips parted but then she shook her head slightly, as if to tell herself to stop. Or perhaps it was just that she was secretly afraid of what she would hear.
“Wise girl,” he said. “Let’s keep some mystery between us.”
“I don’t think I’m always wise,” she sighed, and now she was snuggling closer into his chest. He gave her a little squeeze, enjoying the feel of her, the way she fitted against him. “Although I think perhaps I am wiser than my mother,” Averil murmured softly, but he heard.
“So you’re not planning to run off with the wicked earl?” he said, playing at being hurt. “My heart is broken, Averil.”
Averil tilted her head so that she could see his face, and her mouth curved to echo his. “Do wicked earls have hearts?” she demanded lightly.
“Of course they do, although perhaps they’re a little blacker and harder than other hearts.”
“Rufus . . .”
But he put a finger to her lips. “No more questions. I might say something you might not want to hear. Let’s go back now, Averil. You and I both know you shouldn’t be here, alone, with me.”
She could feel him easing himself away from her. Physically but also emotionally. He thought he wasn’t good enough for her, she knew it in a flash. And suddenly Averil was very angry with him. Why did he put himself out of her league? Why did he imagine she cared a jot for gossip and things that might have happened in the past and were nothing to do with them?
Averil stood up.
He stood up, too, towering over her, but she wasn’t intimidated by him, and it was time he heard some home truths.
“What tosh,” she said tartly, and felt by the heat in her cheeks that her temper was on the rise. She tried to swallow it down, to be calm. “I have been my own woman for many years and I make my own decisions. I certainly don’t need you to make them for me.”
“Quite the little firebrand, aren’t you?” he said quietly.
“I’m not afraid to say what I think, if that’s what you mean.”
“All very well but sometimes you need to think with your head and not your emotions, Averil, and this is one of those times. I’m not the man for you.”
Suddenly her temper left her, and she felt empty and flat. He didn’t want her. He was trying in his own way to be kind.
“You don’t want me,” she whispered. “I suppose I’ve made a fool of myself by kissing you? But at least I’ve been sincere. Why can’t you just tell me if that’s how you feel and not pretend you’re rejecting me for my own sake?”
And with that she turned and began to hurry away, blind with tears, trying not to stumble. She felt wretched and foolish. She’d thought he felt the same as her but he’d just been amusing himself, enjoying their little flirtation. He might even pity her!
She didn’t hear him behind her, but the next moment he’d caught her arm. He tried to turn her about, while she struggled, aware of her tear-streaked cheeks and thumping heart, but he was stronger than she. “Averil,” he said, and swung her up into his arms, just as he had that night at The Tin Soldier.
“Foolish girl,” he was murmuring, and he was kissing her face, wild little kisses. Averil’s breath caught on something between a laugh and a sob, and then he claimed her mouth, kissing her with all the desperation of a man deep in love.
Averil felt as if she were melting. This was the man she wanted above all others, no matter what he had done and what he said. Was she a fool to ignore the warnings of others? And yet she was so certain she was right about him.
“Averil?”
It was Beth calling from the castle terrace. Averil sighed and their lips clung a moment more, before Rufus let her slip down through his arms until she was securely on her own two feet.