“No, no, it’s not your fault. I am the one who has failed you all. Your mother thinks so, and she is right.”
He looked so miserable she didn’t know what to say or do. In the end she simply kissed his forehead and left him alone.
Things were even worse than she’d thought. She must marry Horace, and without delay. There was no way out, no matter how interesting she found Richard Eversham or how enjoyable were his kisses. And she certainly couldn’t rely on Charles to come to the rescue, even if Anne’s parents did agree. No, this must be Tina’s sacrifice and hers alone.
“Sacrifice.” She turned the word over in her head. It made her think of a stone dropping into a pond, leaden, and that was how it felt. Tina had been telling herself for so long that Horace was her childhood sweetheart that she’d grown to accept it, and the fantasy had certainly made the idea of marrying him more palatable. But now it was time to face the truth, and it was Mr. Eversham who had shown her what that was.
She didn’t love Horace. She liked him, she was fond of him, but to be his wife and grow old with him . . . No, that was not something that brought her paroxysms of joy. And she probably would never have come to that realization if she hadn’t met Richard. To be with him, to be in his arms, to kiss him . . . their moments together had been a revelation.
Did she want to marry him? Tina didn’t think so. Her practical soul reminded her that she hardly knew him. This was more to do with an attraction of the flesh, the sort of thing men indulged in all the time. Women weren’t supposed to feel like this, and certainly they weren’t supposed to admit to lust. But if it wasn’t lust she was feeling, then what was it?
She sighed. Speculating was a waste of time. She was marrying Horace. The memory of her father’s face just now was enough to strengthen her resolve. Marriages in her stratum of society were rarely for love, and she must not think herself hard done by. She was saving her family, and it wouldn’t be so bad. She and Horace would rub along well enough.
Assuming he eventually proposed to her.
And for that Tina knew she needed Richard Eversham.
A treacherous shiver of pleasure curled in her stomach because she knew she had no choice but to see him again. And again. Until Horace proposed, Richard would be part of her life. Tina wondered how long Horace’s proposal might take. Logically, going by recent events, it would probably take some time.
It was selfish of her—the curl of pleasure came again—but Tina was delighted.
Chapter 16
Richard heard the voices downstairs shortly after Tina left and thought for a moment she had returned. Dispassionately he noted, as if his own emotions were foreign to him, how his heart leaped, and his body hardened at the thought of seeing her again.
But it wasn’t Tina.
Moments later Archie was opening the door to someone he very much didn’t want to see. His sister-in-law, Anthony’s wife.
“Evelyn, this is an unexpected surprise.”
She was a beautiful woman, with her golden red hair and violet-blue eyes, but again Richard was able to observe this dispassionately. Long ago he hadn’t been so cool in her presence, but then she’d married Anthony, and now his brother was dead.
“Dear Richard.” She smiled as she took his hand, and only someone who knew her well would have been able to see the hint of petulance in her face. She was displeased with him because he was able to resist her charms. Evelyn would have preferred it if he had spent the last few years heartbroken and lovesick.
“What are you doing here in town?” he inquired, nodding at Archie to fetch some tea and cake.
“I can’t stay forever at Eversham Manor, you know,” she said with a hint of melancholy. “Beautiful as it is, I do need to seek out the gaiety of London now and again.”
“No one is making you stay in Kent, Evelyn.”
She made a moue. “On the small allowance I receive from you, Richard, there’s nowhere else I can go.”
“It isn’t a small allowance, Evelyn, and it was left to you by your husband. Besides it is perfectly adequate.”
“Well, we must disagree on that,” she said with the hint of a snap.
Evelyn had been an actress before Anthony married her, but not a very good one. In fact, Richard thought with inner amusement, in his opinion Tina’s abilities far exceeded hers already.
“You are up here to see your friends at the theater?” he said, carelessly, and received a savage look from her remarkable eyes.
“I have no friends, Richard. I gave all of that up when I married Anthony for love. Remember?”
“Oh, I remember,” he said quietly.
She opened her mouth but didn’t quite dare to say any more. Even her monumental ego wasn’t quite steel plated enough for her to ignore the warning in his voice.
“Well,” she said, seating herself on the sofa Tina had so recently left. “I was wondering when you might be coming home to Kent, Richard. There is a great deal needs doing on the estate, and I don’t have the authority to tell Mr. Gregor whether or not to go ahead.”