The courtesan’s dark gaze slid over her, before returning to her face. She was reading her, judging her sincerity, and suddenly it was extremely important that Aphrodite take her seriously.
“Aphrodite, please,” she sounded as desperate as she felt. “I don’t know what else to do but ask you again to help me.”
“Hush, child, listen to me for just one moment. Have you truly considered what it is you are asking of me? You will be stepping well outside the boundaries of polite society. You think you are beyond them now, but you are not. Being a courtesan is to be a woman apart. Is that what you want? Have you truly understood what this decision will mean in five, ten, twenty years time?”
The way Aphrodite put it did make the consequences of her decision sound daunting, but Marietta was not a coward. She had chosen her direction and would not turn back so easily—besides what were her alternatives? Allow Oliver to find some willing victim to wed her despite her ruined reputation? Live at Berkley Square as a spinster aunt for the remainder of her days? The choice of courtesan was exciting and a little frightening in comparison because it was so unconventional, but it was one she was eager to embrace.
Of course, there was her family to consider and the effect upon them. Marietta was aware that people would call her selfish, and that there would be gossip, but she had thought long and hard on the matter and she did not see that the situation could be much worse than it already was—she was the ruined sister already. Her family might suffer privately from her actions, yes, but that did not mean the rest of the world needed to know. She would change her name, her identity—Marietta would vanish from sight and Madame Coeur would be born—that was the name she had chosen for herself. In time her family would accept her decision and see that it was right for her—Marietta truly believed that.
“There would be compensations, surely?” she said at last.
“Oh yes, there are compensations.” Aphrodite tapped her chin with one elegant finger. “May I suggest something to you, mon petit puce? Before you make up your mind irrevocably, I want you to have a…a, what do they call it, a trial! Not a trial in a court, I do not mean that. I want you to try out the life of a courtesan, and see if it is what you really want.”
“But I know I—” Marietta began impatiently.
“Yes, yes, you think you know. But the reality of living such a life is quite different to the imagining of it. And when I say to try it out, I am not saying you should wander about Aphrodite’s Club peeping into doorways. No, you should work with a flesh and blood man. Someone who is willing to take part in your game, but who knows it is a temporary affair, and that if you change your mind he has no power over you whatsoever.”
Marietta trembled, feeling the excitement building inside her. “I won’t change my mind. It is what I want above all things.”
“I almost believe you.”
“Almost…” Marietta felt frustrated. Why wouldn’t Aphrodite believe her? Why couldn’t she accept that Marietta was completely sincere in her desire?
“No, no, listen to me, mon petit puce. If you do as I tell you, and if, once the game is over, you still want to pursue the life of a courtesan, then I promise I will help you. I will give my time and experience to you, completely!”
“I don’t understand,” Marietta said carefully. “You want me to practice at being a courtesan but you also want me to have the option of changing my mind if I don’t like it? How can I do that? Once I have burnt my bridges, then surely I can never go back to being Miss Marietta Greentree?”
“No, you cannot. But I have an idea. You will choose one man upon whom to practice. You will play the courtesan with him, learning how to think and use your senses, and at the same time he will teach you what it is to feel desire and to mold that desire for your own purposes. So you will both gain something from your liaison, and neither will go away unhappy, whatever the final outcome.”
“I don’t want to fall in love—” Ma
rietta began uneasily.
“I did not say that you would love him, mon petit puce. I said you would desire him. A courtesan must desire, she must learn to show the man she is with that she desires, make him feel as if he is everything to her, the best of lovers. You see?”
“Yes, I see.” Marietta thought a moment, some of her excitement fading beneath a new apprehension. “But who would agree to such a thing? I don’t know any man who would be willing to be used like that and then say nothing if I changed my mind—which I won’t!”
Aphrodite gave her a little smile, and reached out to open the bedroom door. Inside, Max lay unmoving upon the bed, his dark curls tumbling over the white bandage, his profile pale and handsome.
And even before she spoke, Marietta knew what she was going to say.
Chapter 4
“Max? You want me to use Max? Oh no, you cannot mean—”
“But why not Max? He is embroiled in a terrible scandal so if he decides to tell the world your secrets then no one will listen to a word he says. But he will not tell because he is a gentleman, and a desirable one, with a great deal of experience. He can teach you much, and you can use your new skills upon him. He is perfect for the role.”
Aphrodite wanted her to use Max in her courtesan training. She wanted Max to teach her about desire. She wanted Marietta to practice seduction and the use of her senses on Max…
“Good heavens,” she whispered.
“He is a good choice, Marietta. I would not suggest him if I thought he would be any danger to you.”
“But…he wanted to buy me for an entire night’s pleasure!”
“An entire night, eh?” Aphrodite smiled wickedly. “That was when he made the mistake of thinking you were one of my protégés. As soon as he realized his error he became the perfect gentleman once more. That was why he was so upset with you, my innocent Marietta. Lord Roseby had set his heart upon having ‘connection’ with you, but he is far too much of an English gentleman to seduce what he thinks is an innocent girl of your class and breeding. He is the perfect man for your little game, oui?”
“Oh.” Was that why he had been so cross—like a little boy who has been given a shilling and finds the sweets shops are all closed? Because he had wanted her and he believed she was out of his reach.