Chapter 29
Lil, her hand tucked around Martin’s arm, all but skipped as they made their way through Covent Garden. He had taken her to see a play about a Scottish king whose wife was mad, and there were witches and a great deal of bloodshed. She’d loved it, even if sometimes it was a little hard to follow.
“Never mind,” he’d said, “you can choose next time.”
So, she thought, there was to be a next time.
Some of the tarts who were always standing about the place called out, pursing their rouged lips and wriggling their hips
. Lil stuck her nose up in the air and pretended not to notice. Martin only laughed, calling out that he was taken and to mind their manners in front of a lady.
That had caused even more hilarity.
Except that his words made Lil want to cry.
They walked a bit farther, but the joy had gone out of the evening for her and she wanted nothing more than to go home and lock herself in her room and hide. She couldn’t bear for him to hate her, and yet Lil knew she had been in this exact same place once before, when she’d been too scared to tell Mr. Keith the truth. She’d run away and married Jacob, and, yes, she’d regretted it bitterly.
I don’t want to run away this time.
But what if she told him and he looked at her in disgust? Or simply walked away from her? She’d curl up and die, she would!
“Lil, what is it?” He was watching her with his eyes sparkling and a hint of a smile on his mouth. “You look like you’ve lost a sovereign and found a shilling.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
“Was it those silly girls back there? You shouldn’t take any notice of them. They’re only doing what they can to make a livin’. We mustn’t think any worse of them for it.”
He sounded sincere. She almost trusted him. Perhaps tomorrow she’d tell him, or the day after…
And then she heard it, her own voice saying, “I used to be one of those silly girls. What do you think of that, Mr. Martin O’Donnelly?”
He looked shocked, and the sight of his face was too much for her.
Lil took to her heels and ran.
She could hear him calling her, but she didn’t stop, she was too frightened. Now he’d be sorry for her! Oh why, why had she opened her big mouth? It would have been better to pretend she wasn’t interested in him than to be pitied, or worse, despised.
“I can’t bear it, I can’t bear it,” she whispered frantically.
“Lil, what are you trying to do to me, kill me?” It was Martin, gasping for air, doubling over and coughing. His eyes were streaming. “God, I hate the London air! No wonder you moved up north.” He gulped, recovering himself somewhat. “Why did you run away from me?”
“I…thought you might rather I ran away.”
He looked puzzled. “Why would I want that? You were telling me something interesting about you being one of those girls. I have a ton of questions to ask you, Lil.” He smiled. “You’re an amazing person, do you know that? I can’t tell you how much I love you.”
Lil blinked. His face seemed to go muzzy, and then popped back into clear, sharp lines again. It was still the same. Warm, smiling mouth, with love in his eyes. He meant it! Of course he did. This was Martin.
Lil laughed.
“I love you, too, Martin,” she said, shyly.
He tilted his head. “What was that you said, Lil? I can hardly hear you. Can you say it again?”
He was watching her with that smile, waiting to see what she’d do.
Lil threw her head back and yelled it out as loud as she possibly could. “I love you, Martin!”
“That’s better,” he said, reaching for her, folding her in his arms. “Lil, my love, that’s much better.”