My refillable water bottle was in the drying rack next to the sink. I placed it under the faucet and waited for the water to reach the top. Beer was off the list for tonight. Plus, it was better for my vocal chords to stay hydrated.
When I returned to the living room, Beau had already cued the TV to the Timeless Channel. I took a sip of water and sat opposite of him in the recliner. I eyed Ugly Quilt.
“It’s getting ready to start.”
I watched floating rose petals and candlelight fill the screen. Before the show even began, I had made up my mind—this was not reality.
A handsome blue-eyed man in a tailored silver suit began speaking. “Welco
me. I’m your host, Mitch Henderson. On tonight’s episode of Love Match, our bachelor, Toby, is down to three bachelorettes: Roxanne, Julie, and Victoria. But who will he choose? Is Julie’s past too much for him to handle? Is Roxanne here for the right reasons? Find out on tonight’s dramatic episode of Love Match.” The montage of date clips flashed across the screen.
I saw Beau take another sip of beer and roll his eyes.
Once the introductory segment was over, the show launched into a date with the bachelor and one of the girls. He walked along the shoreline of a tropical island and stared into the waves while the girl rushed ashore on a jet ski, squealing and laughing. The two devoured each other in the surf and I thought Toby might dismantle the girl’s bikini right there. I grimaced as the petting got heavier. After a few more seconds, they finally jumped on the jet ski and raced out to a yacht, where they spent the day feeding each other grapes, swimming with dolphins, and inhaling champagne.
Beau placed his empty bottle on the table. “Mind if I get another?” It was a commercial break, but I needed a break from the mushy gushy content too.
“Sure. Back of the fridge.”
He turned the corner for the kitchen. My mind paced through options for our project. I had only seen fifteen minutes of the show, but it couldn’t possibly be real. I had never seen anyone in real life act like those two.
Beau knocked the top off the beer just as date number two commenced. This time Toby was harnessed to the edge of a cliff overlooking waterfalls, when one of the girls rode up on a horse. She dismounted and jumped into his arms, repelling gear and all. Wait, did he just shove his tongue down her throat? He was doing that yesterday with Victoria. Horrified, I watched as he strapped his date into a harness so they could repel down the cliff tandem-style. The poor girl was in tears, but the hunky bachelor assured her if they could get through this, their relationship could handle anything. I wanted to ask him if it could handle Victoria and Roxanne.
With only twenty minutes left in the show, Toby met his third date of the episode in a classic convertible. Roxanne jumped and clapped when he revved the engine and slid across the hood to spin her around in his arms. The short sundress she had on flared up and I was sure his hand was under that skirt. I kept my eyes straight ahead and didn’t look at Beau. Toby and Roxanne spent the day in a field of wild flowers, sorting through the most perfectly packed picnic basket I had ever seen. Roxanne even made matching bracelets out of flowers. I choked on my water when Toby promised to keep it forever. He tucked it in the pocket over his heart.
In the final segment of the show, the three girls stood side by side, holding each other’s hand. Toby strolled into the candlelit room with a furrowed brow. He exchanged a handshake with blue-eyed Mitch and presented his beloved trio with a choked up speech. He preceded to hand out roses to two of the girls—the ones that made the cut after the last round of dates. Julie was out and Roxanne and Victoria hugged, knowing they were the final two in the race to win Toby’s heart.
“Ok. I don’t think I can watch another episode of this tonight. How many are there?” I looked at Beau.
“I think two more. But I know he’s going to pick Roxanne.”
“Roxanne? But they had the worst date in the wildflower field. I didn’t see any connection there at all.”
Beau laughed. “For someone who’s never watched this, you’re kinda into it.”
“No. Not into it. It’s just we watched the whole episode and I didn’t see anything between them. Besides, how do you know he chooses Roxanne in the end?”
“My roommate’s girlfriend told me. Victoria is the new bachelorette. She’s the one we’ll be watching all season when the episodes start next week.”
“Oh.” I had no idea how this show worked and I was probably more confused now that I had seen an episode. Nina needed to help me with this.
“Do you have any ideas for the project? We have to prove if this is real or not—and include class theory,” he added.
This couldn’t be real. How could Toby have been with all three of those girls and then propose to just one at the end? The show had to be a concocted phony. People don’t fall in love like that.
“It’s fake. It has to be.” I was certain. “I know acting when I see it. I’ve been on stage long enough to know those people aren’t having real feelings.”
“I agree. But how do we prove it?”
“Hear me out. This might sound crazy.” I couldn’t believe what I was getting ready to say. “You know how Professor Garcia wants us to be the show? What if we date?”
“What?” Beau sat up.
“Not really date, but date like they do on the show. We’ll try to go on the same kind of dates they do and we’ll prove that you can’t force people to have feelings just by putting them in romantic situations. Since neither of us believes it’s real, we’re going into this on the same page.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it could work. We copy their dates each week.”
“We’ll work in some theory from class. And we can even blog about it. That can be our social media component. I’ll write about the date from a girl’s perspective and you give the guy’s take. It’s perfect.”