I took a step back. His words stung. “What are you talking about? How did I break your heart? You’re the one who disappeared yesterday.” I kept my voice low and I walked closer to him. I didn’t need the rest of campus to know Beau ran out of our suite.
He threw his hands in the air. “You. Are. Leaving. There’s nothing else to discuss. The other night was just good-bye. I shouldn’t have let it get that far. I admit that was my fault—it was a mistake.”
I was utterly confused. “That was good-bye? Good-bye sex is actually a thing? I thought we were starting over.” I didn’t want to think anything about our night together was a mistake. It was perfect.
“How can we start over? It’s only going to end one way—with you on a plane to California.” His eyes looked desp
erate.
“But, I want to be with you. That’s why I wrote the blog, that’s what taking you home was about, and the other night in the suite—this is what I want. I’ve been trying to show you that on every date we’ve had since you broke up with me. Didn’t you see it? Couldn’t you feel it? I’ve been trying to tell you with everything but words.”
“Well, London, sometimes people need words. I needed to hear it from you.”
“I kinda made a deal with Professor Garcia and I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling. You had to read it, though. The words were there in the blog.”
“What kind of deal? Are you talking about the research? This is exactly the problem. You put the grade and the project first.” Beau sighed. “I can’t do this, London. Just leave me alone. Stop making this harder on both of us.”
In the epic make up sequence, I didn’t get mad, but right now, I was starting to fume. Beau was pissing me off. “What in the hell is wrong with you? I saved both of us with that deal.”
The circle of people around was growing. We had a full-fledged audience.
“Me? What’s wrong with you? I gave you chance after chance, London, to tell me that what we had meant something to you. That it was bigger than your plans or your perfect grade point average. But every single time I tried, you threw your career in my face. At some point you had to realize I wasn’t going to keep taking it.”
He was right—completely right. At the mere mention of jeopardizing the grade or going anywhere other than L.A., I changed the subject and cut him off—every time. In his room, by the creek at the vineyard, even during our margarita date—I never failed to tell him I had one priority. This might be my last chance to tell him how wrong I had been for so many months.
“Beau, I am telling you right now that this is what I want. You are who I want. I was wrong before. I get it. I pushed you away. It was as if I couldn’t get out of my own way or something. Can’t you just give me a chance to show you?”
“No. I can’t. It doesn’t matter that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “The semester started off as fun, I liked showing you new things, and I laughed every time you crept out of your comfort zone. How could I not fall in love with you, London?”
“But—” I was trying to sort through what he was saying. My heart was stuck on the fact that he had just said he was in love with me.
He continued. “But, loving you and wanting you isn’t going to change the reality. You’re moving three thousand miles away and I’m not going to have a single break in the first year of law school. We’ll never see each other. We’ll be lucky if we get to talk on the phone. And you don’t deserve that. I can’t do that to you. So, I’m out. I know I said it weeks ago, but now that we’re actually going to have distance between us, I can finally stick to my word, because anytime I’m near you, I can’t trust myself not to—”
I didn’t let him finish. I didn’t want one more word building a wall between us. I threw my arms around his neck and jumped toward him so that my lips landed square on his mouth. Beau wasn’t ready for my full throttle tackle. His feet slipped as he grabbed me around the waist, taking us both to the grassy ground.
I looked over Beau’s shoulder. The circle of onlookers began clapping and throwing wolf whistles. Beau started laughing.
“London, what am I going to do with you?”
“Kiss me.”
“Didn’t you hear anything I just said?” He was attempting to sit up. “Nothing is different except now I know you can tackle.” He rested on his elbows.
“I heard you. But you are so wrong. Everything is different. I am in love with you, Beau, and I am absolutely not letting you break up with me again.”
“Really? You can rewrite the future?”
“If that’s what I have to do, then yes. I will rewrite anything you want. We are not over.”
“Is that so?” His eyes sparkled and he was grinning.
“It is.” I gently pushed on his shoulders and let my hair fall around his face before pressing my mouth into his. The rest of the quad faded from my view. All I remember was Beau’s warm lips and his arms holding me against his body for all of campus to see.
“How much popcorn are you popping in there?” Beau called from the living room.
“It’s the finale. Nina is watching with us and it’s three hours long. We need snacks.”
“Three hours of this Love Match crap? I didn’t know that’s what I was signing up for when I said I would watch it with you tonight. You know the project is over. We don’t actually have to watch the show anymore.” Beau grabbed the heaping bowls of popcorn from my hands and set them on the coffee table. “There are so many other things we could do tonight.” His hands gripped my waist and he pulled me on top of him. He began working the straps of my tank top down my shoulder with his teeth.