I wrung my hands together. This was complete torture.
Our lives had always been intertwined. And in my heart, I knew he was the only man I could ever love. I’d always known.
Every time I looked in his eyes, I could see our children. I could see home. For the first time, I knew Nic saw the same thing. It may not have been his dream two years ago, but it was his dream now.
I rested my nervous hands over my flat belly. Was he right? Was it possible I was already pregnant and we didn’t know it? It would still be a few weeks before I could take a test.
I had gone from employee to mother of his child. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to explain what had happened between us. But maybe that was the magic of us—I didn’t have to. I didn’t have to justify our feelings or our relationship. We knew that it was real and passionate. Tangible and erotic. We loved each other in every way possible.
Now that the king knew, and Sutcliffe, we were free to love without restraint. We had a royal blessing. In my book, the king might as well have married us on the spot. Once he had made up his mind, we would have his full support.
Molly’s visit yesterday proved it. I only knew bits and pieces of the inner workings of their relationship from Ayla, but I knew he loved her more than the crown. And they had an intense connection.
I fished through my clutch, looking for my phone. There was one person I hadn’t talked to about this. And I realized there was something useful I could do while I waited for Nic.
I called Ayla.
“Kenley. I can’t believe you’re calling.” Her voice was hushed.
“Hi. Are you free for a few minutes?”
I watched a mother jog by, pushing her baby in a stroller with three wheels.
“I just stepped out of the room so the queen can change for dinner. I have a few minutes. How is the trip going?”
Galona was six hours ahead of us.
“We only landed a little bit ago. It’s just getting started.” I felt nervous talking to Ayla, yet I needed her sanity right now.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t see you off.”
“It’s ok. We left early and I wasn’t going to interrupt your service.” The knots of awkwardness twisted in my gut. My closest friend was still a royal manager and I wasn’t. How were we going to cross this new river I had created?
“The queen mentioned to me you’re in her home state. It sounded like she wanted to go with you.”
“It would have been nice to have some company.” I cringed. The queen wasn’t supposed to be company. I was flailing. “I meant. I just needed to talk to someone.”
“Nothing should be any different. You can call me anytime.”
“You’re sure? You don’t feel strange?”
She laughed. “Of course it’s strange, but you have been in love with him since I’ve known you. I’m not going to stop being your friend because he finally realized he was an idiot for two years.”
I giggled. “Well, when you put it that way.”
“Did something happen?” she asked.
“No.” I sighed. I couldn’t betray Nic’s trust but confiding his secret to someone else. “He’s in the middle of a meeting. I’m outside waiting.”
I couldn’t mention Sophia or the baby.
“Oh. Is it hard? Not being his manager any longer?”
“Yes. It’s natural, you know? I immediately want to do things I’ve always done. And I can’t turn my brain off from thinking like a fixer.”
“How could you? It’s what you’ve known.”
“Exactly.”