“And the person they put me in touch with was Morgan.” His eyes had an extra spark when he said her name. “And that’s when things changed.”
“Changed in what way?”
“She made me want to be a better man, Emily. She made me want to do things for myself that I should have been doing all along.”
I sat forward. “Like what?”
“Like stay on my med schedule. Like stop dodging my therapy.”
“What?”
He grinned. The beard was growing on me. I guessed that was Morgan’s influence too.
“I don’t know what it was about her. It was just that connection. The thing I’d always been looking for. And she didn’t see me as an illness. She saw me in spite of it.”
“I see you in spite of it. You’re my brother.”
“I know you do. But I can’t tell anyone I’m bi-polar without them looking at me as if I’m part troll.”
“That’s because people don’t understand. And it doesn’t help that you don’t stay on your medication. You don’t take care of yourself. You give people a reason to see the worst in you instead of the other way around.”
“And she just didn’t care. She fell for me anyway.”
I wasn’t going to fall for it like Garrett did. I didn’t believe that one angel had swooped in and delivered my brother to some saving grace. To a path of magical redemption. He had been with her for maybe two months. I had spent twenty years with this.
“I’m glad you have a new girlfriend. That’s great. And I’m glad she is supportive of healthy choices for your treatment. But what about the two weeks? Where have you been? You walked away from your job. You didn’t talk to your friends. This is the kind of stuff you do when you’re not ok.”
“I’ll call them and apologize.”
“That’s great, but you aren’t telling me what happened. I drove around with Dad yesterday. Dad,” I pressed the point.
He chuckled. “Sorry I missed that. Also, glad it wasn’t me.”
“You think it’s funny we thought you were dead or shaking in a dirty bathroom somewhere?” I hopped from the sofa. “What you do matters to me. It matters to all of us. So this time you left because of some happiness journey it sounds like? Your happiness led to my misery. You should have seen Mom. She’s a wreck.”
He stared at me. “Emily, I wasn’t trying to drag you in to anything. You live in D.C. You have your life. How was I supposed to know they’d ask you to fly down?”
“Because when someone in your family goes missing that’s what you do!” I was flushed. My head spun.
“Calm down. I’m sorry. Really, I should have checked in. Or out or whatever.”
“I don’t know what to say anymore.” I pulled out my phone. “They need to know you’re alive. You can tell them your version of whatever it is that happened.”
I realized in my hands was the decision to call one parent before the other. To choose who was more deserving. I scowled. I dialed my mother.
“Emilyt, I woke up and you weren’t here.”
“Mom, I’m fine. I’m with Garrett.”
“Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you. Where is he? I want to talk to him.”
“Hold on.” I glared at my twin and shoved the phone in his hand. “Here you go.”
“Hey, Mom. Yep, I’m fine.”
I listened while he explained that he and his new girlfriend had gone on some kind of spiritual retreat together to detox from the digital world. They had made a commitment not to use phones or the Internet. He felt at ease with his decision.
He handed the phone back to me.