Risking the Crown (The Crown 2)
Page 585
I pictured what he was saying. I could see his offer playing out. I’d board a plane for DC. I could use my fake ID one last time and no one would ever know I had left the country. I’d land and take a cab to our brownstone. I’d walk up three flights of stairs with my suitcase and come up with some lame reason for why I had to get away. Greer would understand I was still nursing a broken heart. She wouldn’t ask many questions. I would take her pity.
Once I blended into my life again the darkness would set in. The blackness that swallowed me whole when Vaughn was gone would take me to my knees. I swore I’d never make it if he left again. I couldn’t survive that kind of mind-splitting agony. I didn’t want to. I wanted him. I wanted this.
And this meant shedding my hold on morality. This meant learning to live with guilt. This meant loving him no matter what it cost my soul.
“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to go home.”
He exhaled. “Shit, Em. Don’t scare me like that.”
He pulled me against his chest and my hands wrapped around his back.
“I don’t ever want to leave. I swear. I’m sorry I’m scared. I’m sorry.”
He tipped my chin toward his lips. His mouth brushed over mine with the kind of tenderness that sent a rush of heat down my spine.
“Let me take you back to bed.”
I nodded as he scooped me in his arms, lifting my legs from the floor. My feet dangled as he carried me to the bedroom. I felt light in his hold. As if he would protect me from all the nightmares. From the dreams. From reality if he had to.
“Are you all in?” He laid me on the bed. “I need to know.”
“I’m all in. I don’t have any doubts about us. About you. I swear.”
As he peeled the shirt from my body, it was true—I had no doubt this was where I wanted to be. It didn’t mean I wasn’t scared. It didn’t mean that I didn’t need time to let the bruises on my heart heal.
I knew he had me. I knew there was only going forward.