“It’s the way you laid it out. We can’t make up our minds.”
“No we can’t.”
I pulled her to me so she was straddling my lap. “Unless maybe we had an idea from the beginning of what this was, and we didn’t want to face it.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“That we should just see how things go.” My heart felt heavy. I could feel the pulse thicken in my veins as I held her in my arms.
“Are we going back to fun status?” There was an edge in her voice. Distrust and skepticism crept in again.
I shook my head. “No, darlin’, not fun status.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m talking about something real. We see where things go.”
“It sounds open-ended. I’m not trying to put you in a corner, but I’m trying to figure you out, Mason. I don’t know what you want. I keep trying to twist myself to be that girl, and it’s making me dizzy. I’m not even the kind of girl who tries to fit into a certain mold. It never works, and it’s not going to work with you either. Look at what’s already happened. A cool, fun girl never would have run up your credit card and gone missing all day. A fun girl wouldn’t have stormed out.”
“I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not.” I touched the bare skin below her shoulder. “I like this girl.”
“Is that really what you want?”
“Tell me what you want.” I kissed below her neck. The shirt hung loosely from her shoulder. “What did you think about this week besides punching me?”
I could tell she was hesitant to tell me. “Come on, we’re both out on a ledge here. Talk to me.”
“All right. I thought about you before I fell asleep and when I woke up.” Her voice quieted. “I thought about how I felt when you kissed me. And how I wished you were next to me in bed. But not just the sex. God, this sounds like I’m a complete sexpot.”
“Hey, no it doesn’t. Keep going.”
“It sounds crazy, we don’t even know each other that well. But I missed your voice.” She ran a hand along my jaw. “And your hands.” She threaded her fingers through mine. “And the way you make me laugh in the middle of a stupid argument. All of that.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Why not? We’ve already stripped this thing down to nothing.”
“Can I go home with you tonight?”
“See? I knew it was about sex.” She sat back a little, balancing on the hold I had on her lower back.
“The sex is fucking incredible,” I growled against her ear. “Thinking about it right now makes me want to take you here on this beach. I don’t care about the bonfire. I wouldn’t care if someone walked over here. But no. I want to go home with you. I want to spend the night with you. No sex. I swear. I want to be with you, Syd.”
She peered at me. “I don’t think I believe that.”
“Before this turns into one of our games or challenges, I’m trying to tell you, Sydney, that I’m interested. I’m not a relationship guy. I’m not going to pretend that I am. You know that’s not me. So when I say I want to see where things go, I’m trying to tell you I see you in my life. I want you in my life. I want more than sex. As much as it’s killing me to even say that.” I grinned.
“Where is all this coming from?”
I shrugged. “I don’t want to let you go tonight. When I saw you standing by the water I had a choice to make. I could walk away and we’d never get this figured out, or I could do this. I could talk to you. Tell you I want you. Show you how much I’m willing to try.”
“You really feel all of that?”
“I do.” I planted a kiss on her shoulder. “But you have to tell me. What do you want?”
“I don’t want the games either. I can’t be the perfect girl who fits in your romcom scenario. It’s not me. I have too many opinions. We’re going to fight. We’re going to argue about things. Don’t you think we’ll drive each o
ther crazy?”
“I like arguing with you. Keeps things unexpected.” My hand slid up her back. Good God, she wasn’t wearing a bra. I had to take a deep breath.
“But what happens when we cross signals again?”