Tempting the Crown (The Crown 1)

For tonight he was safe. He was on one of his peaks. He had something he looked forward to. He had an outlet for his art. He had friends. It was what was coming next that worried me.

I peeled myself off the couch to pour a glass of wine.

The bottle glugged as the crimson liquid filled the oversized glasses Greer had bought. I wandered to the deck and stooped to turn on the lights.

The first sob came from my shoulders, but the next one from my stomach.

I tried to simultaneously drink the wine while I cried. It was a pathetic attempt. I just needed something.

I’d never experienced loneliness like I had here. The isolation was unbearable tonight. I dabbed at my tears and tried to take a steady breath. I wanted more wine and walked back to the kitchen.

Garrett made me feel helpless. Part of me resented that about him. He made me unable to act. Kept me from being able to help. Prevented me from doing what he needed. It was twisted and unbearable.

He wasn’t thinking about how he affected Mom or me. We were an afterthought. That part always hurt. He wasn’t my afterthought. But maybe this was the consequence for moving so far away. This was his way of shoving my choices in my face. I couldn’t drive to him. I couldn’t stop him. And we both knew it.

I jumped when I heard my phone ring. I rushed to answer, praying Garrett had finally changed his mind, or at least was ready to talk about his new life plans. I only needed to catch him in a moment of clarity in order to reach him. He would listen to me if only I could tap into the sliver of reason I knew he carried with him. It was still there. He was still there.

“Garrett?”

I jerked the phone to my ear without bothering to check the number. I felt frantic.

“No, it’s Vaughn.”

My chest tightened. “Vaughn? Oh.”

Disappointment crested into confusion. I didn’t know what to say. It had been a week since I had made my one attempt to call him. His call was out of place.

“I guess you were expecting someone else.” His voice had a different weight to it, but I had been crying and nothing sounded the same.

“M-my brother, actually.”

“Everything all right?” he asked.

Nothing was all right. It hadn’t been for a long time. I didn’t think I could hold it together any longer. I was too upset about Garrett to sort through why Vaughn had called at this particular time.

“N-no,” I whispered. “Maybe we could talk another time.”

Whatever the instant connection I had felt to him was, it had unraveled over a week of silence. It couldn’t have meant the same to him as it did to me or I would have heard from him. I knew that much about men.

“Are you home?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Stay where you are. You don’t sound very good. I’m coming over.” His voice was confident and firm.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.” I tried to sound stronger than anything that was a reality.

“I do. I wanted to talk to you, anyway. Tell you where I’ve been all week. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Ok?”

I nodded. “Ok.”

Vaughn hung up and I wondered what had prompted the call. What prompted me to let him back in? We had no ties. No commitments, but his sudden absence at the beginning was a clear sign. I hadn’t even mentioned him to Greer. We had one date. A second date was worth dissecting, but no call after a first date was not.

I had a history. A history of going for the wrong guy.

The unavailable and emotionally removed were my type. And no matter how many therapy sessions I attended, or journals I scribbled in, the type didn’t change.

I swore under my breath every time I wouldn’t make the mistake again. I’d assess the red flags from the beginning and if they were there, I’d end it. Somewhere in the past few days when I hadn’t heard from Vaughn I had made that decision.