Surrender

I tapped the red button on the phone and sank into the couch. It was a stupid risk. A dangerous decision that hurt more than anything. I could have talked to my brother for hours. I wanted to hear about how things were going with Morgan. I never even asked about Dad. What did I expect when I called weeks after disappearing?

Worst of all—it was selfish.

I knew with certainty that Agent Kenneth was looking for me. That meant Greer was being questioned and watched. The team at the office. Maybe even Lana Foley. Damn it.

I didn’t know how Vaughn did it. He was able to compartmentalize his family back home from this life he led. It was rare we ever talked about them. It was like his family was a set of mythical creatures I’d eventually meet, but in a dream scenario.

And mine? They were far from mythical. They were a screwed up mess. What I had done to them had probably magnified the problems. This would only make my divorced parents fight more. Divide them. Test them in ways they weren’t equipped to handle. Despite the grenade I had just hurled at him, it hit me how rational Garrett sounded. I folded my feet under me. He sounded strong. Confident. Like the best parts of my brother when he was in a good phase. At least there was that. It was one crumb to hold. One small morsel that I could focus on instead of the pain settling in my chest.

Chapter Eleven

Something happened after that call with my brother. It was easier to let go. Maybe because I understood how much jeopardy I put my family in when I reached out. Maybe because hearing his voice made me realize he was doing ok on his own. He didn’t need me to push him through the day anymore. He hadn’t needed that in a long time. I hoped it wasn’t all dependent on Morgan. Regardless, it reminded me he was living his life and I didn’t need permission from anyone to live mine. How I moved forward was up to me.

Whatever it was, it made the holidays happier. Easier.

We bought a small tree. Decorated it with shiny antique ornaments that cost more than they should have. We exchanged gifts.

Vaughn surprised me with a trip to Switzerland for New Year’s. For the most part, the country closed down through the first week of January. Vaughn didn’t have to work at Mertech, and it was strange, but even Blackwing seemed to take the holidays seriously.

We stayed in a small village that looked like a European postcard. The streets were lined with patio lights. The gas lamps flickered when we walked home from the pubs. We drank amazing beer. Had incredible sex. Rang in the New Year together.

Once we returned, it was as if we lived in a bubble. I went to lunch once a week with Aubrey. We joined a book club together and met some other ex-pats. We drank wine and talked about our husbands. It was the most social I’d been since college.

Vaughn left for work each morning as a marketing executive at Mertech and came home to me each night. I cooked something new almost every night. I was determined to master French cuisine. On the nights I was too tired, he picked up take out on the way home.

It worked. I felt calm. At ease. At peace with breaking from the past. I stopped trying to cling to my old cases. I stopped worrying about never practicing law again, or mentoring students. We were happy. We were in sync. Connected.

Until I ran into Eloise at the flower shop.

“Ahh, Kate. Bon jour.” Her curls danced next to her cheeks.

I almost dropped my coffee from Marie’s. “Eloise,” I answered cautiously. “Bon jour.”

She seemed out of place here. Like she dropped into my life from a helicopter circling overhead. That was absurd. But it was exactly how it felt.

I had stopped to look through the early shipment of tulips. Spring was a long way away, but the white and pink flowers made it seem like it was only around the corner. They were deceiving, like many other things in my life.

“The sun is out. We should walk.” She eyed the sidewalk outside the shop’s door. I knew it was a directive, not a request. I decided not to argue.

I smiled at the clerk, placing the tulips back in their silver buckets, and followed Eloise onto the pavement. I buttoned my coat.

“You look well, Kate.” Eloise had a brisk pace.

“Thank you.” I pressed my lips together, hurrying next to her. I didn’t like the game of catch-up she made me play.

“It seems you’ve adjusted to the move since the last time I saw you. Paris life suits you?” she asked.

“Oui,” I answered with a little more smartass quip than Eloise probably cared for.

I didn’t expect her to lead me to a restaurant. She opened the door. The floors were tiled in oversized black and white squares. The pale yellow paint on the walls was chipped and peeling. She slid into a seat by the window, pointing for me to join her.

I had passed this spot many times, but never wandered in. It always looked closed. Sitting on the inside, I realized it was because of the gloom that hung in the air.

A man walked toward us, offering menus.

“My treat.” Eloise smiled. “An early lunch.”

I wasn’t in the mood for food. I wanted to know what in the hell this was about. It had been nearly two months since I had last seen her. Why was she here now? A spiral of fear twisted through me. What if it was Vaughn? What if something had happened to him? Eloise was too calm for an emergency.