Surrender

The remote was lying on my desk. I glanced at my tablet as I reached for the remote.

Holy shit. I picked up both and jogged back to the kitchen.

“You aren’t going to believe this.”

“What?” Vaughn’s hands were covered in pineapple. He licked his thumb. “What is it?”

“My book just hit the top twenty.” I stared at him, stunned. “It’s number twenty of the charts. Holy shit.” I was stunned.

“Fucking incredible, babe. Your second one.”

I bit my lip and placed the tablet on the table. “I never thought they would do that well. It was such a long-shot to publish them on my own.” I increased the volume on the flat screen so Vaughn could hear the game. I tied an apron around my waist to start peeling potatoes.

“I don’t know why you thought that. Your students always loved you. Anyone who started reading was going to have the same experience.”

I rinsed the first potato under the faucet. “I thought not having the ability to write with my real name would diminish my credibility, but no one cares that it’s a pen name.”

“Because what you have to say is real. Who cares what your name is?” He whacked the top of the pineapple off. “You’re still studying, writing, advising law. That’s all that matters.” He paused. “And your happy.”

“I am. I love what I’m doing. I love the case research. And the more people who read about these obscure forgotten cases, the more I can help people who need this kind of support.” I scraped the skin off the potato. “It’s better than being at American University. And I am in control of my schedule. No Metro.” I smiled.

Vaughn laughed. “No more Metro.”

At first, I was terrified someone would try to figure out my identity. Writing under a pen named seemed like an invitation for a hacker to try to discover who I was. But the more research I did, the more I realized, no one cared. I received active messages and questions from readers, but I handled all of those through my legal blog. And Sheldon, who I had doubted at first, was instrumental in keeping us off the radar. Vaughn and I even joked about flying him to Hawaii for a vacation. The kid needed some sunlight. He had to get out of that theater basement.

As for Lana Foley, her case imploded. She was the first of twenty women to step forward and out Senator Mitcherson. Not being able to help her through to the end was my biggest regret. I realized Lana didn’t need me. She only needed someone to listen. Someone to take her case seriously. And thank God, there were women and men out there who were willing to do just that. I had to sit on the sidelines and applaud everything they could do for her, that I couldn’t. I gave up the right to participate in that fight.

Vaughn piled the pineapple slices and turned around. He ran his hands under the sink before wrapping his hands around my waist. “Did you ever see this? Us here? You writing. Me coaching. Our big beautiful house on the cliff by the ocean.” He kissed my neck. “And making a baby this soon.”

I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t see it. I didn’t know how we were going to make this

happen, but maybe the baby part is the most surprising of all.” I giggled.

It seemed as if once we started talking about it, we couldn’t stop. It was baby, baby, baby. Vaughn was older, but it wasn’t as if mid-thirties for a guy was a biological clock issue. For me, I was nearing thirty. It was something to think about, but I wasn’t worried that we were going to age out of being parents. I never had been. It was something that lingered between us ever since we escaped Paris.

We had left Blackwing. We were successful in something that never happened before.

Maybe it was that zest. That determination to control our narrative that drove us to start a family this quickly. Maybe it was because once we had each other, we didn’t want to let go. A baby was a tangible product of our love. A symbol that we loved each other with breathless intensity.

Or maybe we were more ordinary than we were ready to admit.

Two extraordinary people who for a little while led a remarkable life. A life that seemed curious and romantic. That was built on mountains of wealth and peaks of lies. Intrigue and government deceit. Were those the kind of people who were meant to be parents? I hadn’t thought so before.

Once the cover was gone, underneath it, we just loved each other. We loved each other like regular ordinary husbands and wives. We were two newlyweds who wanted a baby to complete the picture.

I leaned into Vaughn’s chest. “Last Thanksgiving we were in the Bahamas, running from the feds. This Thanksgiving we’re having our first turkey in our new house. And next year we’re going to be sitting at the table with our baby?”

I felt his chest swell with air. “Don’t scare me, babe. Sometimes it feels fast.”

I gripped his hands at my hips. “I think you are the bravest man I know. You walked through fire for me.” It wasn’t often, but when I thought about what Vaughn had truly risked for us to have this life I was almost brought to my knees.

He could have been captured. Tortured. Sent to prison for the rest of his life. And he took that chance. He stared in the face of the bleakest, grimmest prospect and defied it. For me. For us.

“Of all the things to be afraid of, our baby isn’t one of them,” I reminded him.

“I’m not afraid of the baby. You know that.” He turned me to face him. “I have a lot of mistakes to make up for. There is darkness and ugliness in my life that I don’t want our children to ever know about.”

“They won’t.” I slinked my hands to his neck. “To them, you’re going to be Daddy. All they will know is love. They’re going to grow up on this beautiful island in our beautiful house and live a beautiful happy childhood. Trust me.”