? I threw the bag over my shoulder. I couldn’t even look at her. If I did there was a chance I might not leave.
The tears in her eyes cut right through me.
She clutched the sheet in her fists. “When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know. Don’t plan on it.”
“What?” Her voice squeaked. “Can you call? Can you tell me if you’re all right?”
“No.” I turned for the door.
It was killing me. It was as if someone was knifing me right in front of her. Only she didn’t know it. She couldn’t see the pain. But it was there, cutting me and slicing my heart in shreds. I’d never felt anything like it.
“I never should have slept with you.” She spoke through clenched teeth.
I shook my head. “Probably not.”
I closed the door behind me, leaving her standing in the middle of the room.
15
Olivia
I wandered to the window and watched as Jake threw his bag in the backseat of the Jeep before starting it up and driving away.
He was gone. He was actually gone. He drove away with every possession he had. Everything he owned was tucked in the back of that Wrangler. He had mentioned it more than once. I realized now what a warning sign it had been.
It hadn’t been the only one, but I ignored them all. I plowed right through them desperate to land in his bed.
After last night, I couldn’t imagine he would ever leave. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the coffee mug he had brought me. No one had touched me like that. Looked at me like that. Possessed my body and soul in one blinding moment of bliss like that. He was as much mine as I was his. There weren’t words for what we did last night.
He didn’t kiss me goodbye. He wouldn’t even look at me.
My clothes were folded neatly at the end of the bed. I pulled the T-shirt over my head, and made my way back to the house.
He was gone. Not gone for a weekend. Not gone for a business trip. Gone. There was no way to reach him. I couldn’t call or write. There was no email or texting. It was as if he had vanished.
It was as if last night hadn’t happened. There was no proof. No trace of him. Nothing. The man was a ghost.
I slammed the front door behind me. For a brief minute, I had let myself believe there was reason to hold on to the house. Maybe Jake was the reason. It could have been our place. The place where we could have built new memories. The place where we could have created a new life together.
Why did I think any of it was possible? There would never be a place he called home as long as he was a Ranger. I choked back the sob that was lingering in my throat. There was one thing worse than Jake not being a Ranger—him not existing at all.
I glared at the fresh paint in the hall. Damn him. Damn Special Forces. Damn the evil in this world that stole him from me.
I stormed upstairs to the shower where I could scrub every inch of my skin and every trace of Jake Crane down the drain.
16
Jake
The picture of Olivia’s eyes had burned in my mind. I fought it. I tried to lock her somewhere in the back of my head, but when I fell asleep she was always there. Haunting me. Reminding me that I had left her. I would reach forward, greedy to hold her soft breasts in my hands only to wake up with the cold desert wind on my face. I held the gun to my chest. I didn’t know when or if I could ever get back to her.
She would probably spit in my face. I fucking deserved it.
“Ready?” the pilot called over the headset. “We are two minutes out from the jump point.”
I gave him a thumbs up and looked over my shoulder at the team. In two minutes, we would be on the ground, heading for our target.