“And then Syria?”
“Yep. We were there about eight months before I had to be flown out.”
“Are you allowed to tell me what happened?”
I pulled the bottle over from the side of the bar we were sitting at. The question was inevitable, and I wanted to tell her. It wasn’t something I had ever really said out loud. The only people I talked to about the bombing were the guys there with me; I didn’t have to tell them what happened.
I poured myself another dram and drank it in one gulp before pouring another.
“That bad huh?” Julie said as she watched me drain my cup. "I don’t remember you drinking so much before.”
“Yeah, the one thing the navy is really good at is building your alcohol stamina.”
I looked over at her through slitted eyes. I really didn’t drink much while I was active duty and even less now that I wasn’t. I would need the liquid courage to tell this story, however.
I realized at that moment, for the first time that night I noticed the ringing in the back of my ears. It was probably the first time since the incident that I had forgotten about it.
“I was in the temp hospital. I was there with the team, but there were also some marines and regular army station to our small base as well. A private came back with some shrapnel in his leg. He couldn’t be airlifted till the artery was clamped.”
I looked over at her again. I could feel the cold sweat on the back of my neck as the memories came flooding back. She instinctively reached over and took my hand in hers. I gave her a weak smile.
“No one knows how they got their hands on such long-range missiles. Where we were, the insurgents weren’t that organized. Well, I guess that was our mistake in thinking that. The first one hit right outside the tent.”
“Blew it all to shit. I woke up with all the equipment on top of me. When it threw me back, it skewered my leg on some equipment. Burst my eardrums too.”
“And the private?" Julie asked softly.
“I tried my best. He was still open when the blast hit. I tried to cover him when the second missile struck, but it did no good. He died from blood loss.”
She took my hand and laid it against her cheek kissing it softly. I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. I never thought I would survive telling that memory, but with Julie here it was a whole lot easier then I expected.
“And your leg?”
“Oh, I’m fine. Some scars and stuff but nothing terrible. My eardrums were permanently damaged so I wasn’t able to stay with the team. I had the option of being stationed at a regular naval hospital. My three years owed were up and Dad was going downhill, so I figured I should bow out gracefully.”
“What does that mean, permanently damaged?” Julie asked looking from one ear to the other.
I knew on the outside they looked perfectly fine.
"Just some hearing loss,” I waved off. “And a constant ringing,” I added quickly.
“Hawk that must be terrible.”
“Funny thing actually,” I gave a little laugh and scooted her chair closer to mine. “Usually I can always hear it, it's just this annoying thing in the back of my head. With you and Em though, sometimes I forget its even there.”
I watched as she looked me over, brushing a long hair away from my face. We were so close now that I could smell her sweet perfume and feel the touch of her smooth thighs rubbing against my own.
“It was hard for me, when I first came back,” I said twirling a lock of Julie’s hair.
I felt like we were discovering each other for the first time.
“First couple of weeks I was here, I didn’t know how to function. It was a nightmare. I had no purpose, no drive. Now…”
I let my voice trail off as I let go of her lock.
“Now Emma is my driving force. I know I have to keep going on for her. For you too, if you’ll let me,” I added looking her in the eyes.
I could see a tear glistening in her honey eyes. I worried it was because she was about to tell me that it wasn?