“I know. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget.”
“Are you going on a date with that same guy?” Aria asked tentatively.
“Yes. His name is Barrett.” I paused for a beat before adding, “Are you okay with that?”
For a girl whose mother never went on dates two in two weeks time probably seemed excessive.
“I guess, it’s just that…”
“Just what, honey?” I asked stealing a glance in the rear view mirror as we started to head home.
“Do you ever think about my dad?”
“What do you mean?” I asked as my heart hit the pit of my stomach. Was she on to the truth maybe? Or was she afraid that I was forgetting about a father she thought she had but didn’t really exist.
“I just mean most kids, even if their parents are divorced or whatever they still know about their dad.”
“But that wasn’t the case, honey. You know that,” I said piling another brick on top of the long wall of lies.
“Yeah, but how come you don’t ever talk about him? Or why have I never seen a picture of him? I mean he had to have parents right. Why don’t I at least know my grandparents?”
It was a lot of questions that I couldn’t answer. I knew the day would come when all the dots would start to come together for her and she would realize how much it didn’t add up.
“It’s really complicated. But, I don’t want you to think that going out with Barrett diminishes your father to me. He gave me the greatest gift in the world, you. And no matter what, I will always love him for that.”
It was completely honest but also the closest I could come to telling her the truth right now. She slumped back in her chair not entirely happy with it.
"I don’t have to go tonight,” I said realizing the needs of my child came before mine.
“No, I don’t mind if you want to go out. I’ll have fun with Aunt Em anyway,” she added in a more upbeat tone.
I figured if she wasn’t happy with the answers I made up about her father, at least she was satisfied with knowing she was in for a junk food filled night of fun with Emma.
After dropping off Aria at home under the care of Em I headed back out. I decided this time I would meet Barrett at his work and just get it out before I was too chicken to tell him. I looked down at my dashboard clock, it was almost four thirty now, so he was sure to be on his last few patients. I hoped I wouldn’t be barging in on him.
I got up to the front desk and was surprised to see several people still in the waiting room.
“What’s your name sweetheart,” the middle aged woman with ridiculously long nails said from behind the plexiglass.
“Actually, i don’t have an appointment but I was hoping to see B- Dr. Harris.”
“Sorry, sweetheart we are all booked for the rest of the day. I can make you an appointment for Monday if you would like.”
“No, it’s not that. He is kind of expecting me,” I tried my best to explain. “I mean not really. He doesn’t know I’m here but…”
“Sweetheart,” she said again and it was getting really irritating. “We only have time for booked clients. If it’s an emergency.”
“Yes, that. I have an emergency,” I said latching onto the word. “I need to see him right away.”
“What’s the emergency?”
“I uh…my IUD has fallen out.”
“That’s not really an e-“
“And I’m bleeding…profusely. In fact I already feel a little faint.”
She looked me up and down like she didn’t believe me. E