“Thinking about your wedding?” Penny asked.
I shook my head. “No, not really.”
“You have this melancholy look on your face. But then again, you kind of always look that way.”
“Really? No way. I’m not that bad.”
“Well, it’s not really your fault. You were kidnapped, after all.”
“Oh, right. Good point.”
She laughed and raised her eyebrows. “Seriously, what were you thinking about?”
“Cassie.”
She went quiet and nodded. “It must be nice to have someone like that.”
“What do you mean? You don’t have a best friend?”
“I have friends, but it’s hard to be close to anyone in my position. I used to have Liv, but she’s gone now. Erin and I aren’t really close.”
“I can’t imagine anyone being close with Erin.”
Penny laughed and stretched. Pretty Penny. I was jealous of her legs and smooth, tan skin.
“Erin’s a good person, but she lives too much in her head.”
“Well, I hope she doesn’t hate me, since we’re about to be sisters-in-law soon.”
“That’s right.” Penny perked up. “You’re going to be my sister.”
“In-law.”
“Whatever. Sister!” She grinned big. “We can be stuck and miserable in this place together forever!”
“That’s not as appealing as you might think.”
“I guess not.” She sighed and collapsed back.
I watched the wind blow through the water. “I’m nervous for tomorrow.”
“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. It’s just the family plus a few important people.”
“Do I know any of them?”
She touched her lip. “Kaspar. I think that’s it. They’re all big, scary mafia guys.” She rolled her eyes.
“I asked Darren about you and Kaspar the other day.” I looked at my nails, trying to be nonchalant about it, and totally failing. Penny went very still, like a squirrel staring down a slobbering dog. “You two seemed to know each other.”
“We were acquaintances in college.”
“Really? Seemed like you knew him better than that.”
“Nobody knows him better than that. Kaspar’s an Oligarch.”
“And a weird one, apparently.”
Penny slapped her thighs. “I can’t wait for all that food. You’ve been in the kitchen recently, right?”
I grinned and let her go on a tangent about cake. If she didn’t want to talk about Kaspar, I wouldn’t make her—but there was clearly some history between them.
I had to admit it was nice to sit out with Penny and talk about normal things. I could almost forget that I would be an unwilling bride in a few short hours and that my life would be forever changed.
How that change would play out was still in flux though.
Darren didn’t know what he wanted. As much as he pretended like he had the world figured out, he was adrift like anyone else. The man was a handsome monster and much more complicated than I ever imagined, and the things he could do with his tongue and fingers were literal magic—but when it came to me, all he could think about was domination and control.
That would only get us so far.
I liked it in the bedroom. I wanted him to hold me down and fuck me. I wanted to squirm and struggle—and finally give in.
But everywhere else? I didn’t want to be quiet and subservient.
I didn’t care that he was an Oligarch, whatever the hell that meant.
I was going to be his wife, and he needed to decide if that meant I’d be locked away forever, or if he’d try to bring me into the fold for real.
I hoped the latter, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted it.
Some part of me still yearned to get away. That part grew quieter every day until now it was only a dull, distant ache, like the memory of a better time, and that scared me more than I realized.
I was getting used to being here. I was starting to like it.
There were perks. I couldn’t deny it. Darren had money and the manor was lavish and comfortable. I liked Penny and could see myself being friends with her for a long time.
I loved it when he kissed me. I craved his lips and tongue and cock. I wanted to run my mouth along his chest and moan his name as he fucked me deeper and deeper and forced me over the edge into bliss.
I wanted to be free. And I wanted to be kept in a little cage.
This little cage.
None of it made sense, and as I sat there looking out over my life, over the manicured lawn and out to my future, I had a sudden, irresistible urge—
I wanted to see him.
I wanted to see my future husband at least one more time before I married him.
Penny said something, but I didn’t hear her. I sat up and smoothed my hair, interrupting her.
“I’m sorry,” I said and stood, suddenly anxious. “I’m having a little freak-out.”
“Uh oh.” Penny’s eyes got wide as she stood and fluttered around me. “Oh, shit. Can I help? Pre-wedding jitters? Are you going to run away?”