I took step closer, trembling. “No way. Absolutely not.”
“Then Kaspar will turn on us and bring the other Oligarchs along. You realize our brother isn’t popular at the moment, don’t you?”
“I know, but—”
“We need Kaspar. He’s keeping the other Oligarchs out of this fight for the time being, despite how bloody and atrocious it’s been. If we lose him, we lose everything. You need to do your part.”
“Erin, I’ll never—”
“You will do your duty.” Her voice cowed me. The intensity, the anger. “We’ve treated you like a wounded little bird because you watched Liv die, but that was a long time ago now. It’s time for you to grow up.”
Grow up. Like Liv never would.
It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
All the money in the world, but it couldn’t buy my sister back.
I closed my eyes. Tears rolled down my cheeks.
“You sold me to him.”
“I did. And I’ll do worse if you don’t obey me.”
“I’ll tell Darren.”
“Go ahead. He’ll find out sooner or later. Someone’s got to make sure this family comes through all this ahead, and we both know it won’t be him. He’s too consumed with his revenge.”
“You’re sick.”
“And you’re deluded and naive. Liv’s dead, Penny. It’s time to move on.” She turned her back on me. Tears kept coming. I couldn’t stop them.
I felt sick.
“Why do you hate me? Ever since Liv died, you’ve hated me. You barely talk to me. You walk around staring at your phone like nothing else exists.”
“I don’t hate you. I barely think about you. I spend my time making plans to keep this family alive, and I’m not going to let you ruin them all because you have some inflated sense of importance. You’re a tool for this family. You always were. Now, go back to your room. When Kaspar comes, you’ll go with him, and you won’t complain.”
I backed away. I balled my hands into fists.
I hated my sister.
My horrible sister. I knew she was different, but I had no clue how far she’d fallen.
She was a monster.
“If this is what it means to be a Servant, then I don’t want any of this anymore.”
“You can’t walk away from who you are. Go back to your room and stop crying.” Erin picked up her phone and began typing.
I fled like a little girl.
Complicated feelings rushed through me. I hated her like I did back when we were little and she picked on me for no reason. I wanted to run away and start over, but knew I never could. I wanted to hide from Kaspar, even if that was silly and impossible.
I wanted Darren to protect me. I was afraid he wouldn’t.
Erin was right. I was nothing. Unimportant. A worthless piece of coal.
If giving myself to Kaspar was the only decent thing I could do with my otherwise unimportant life, maybe I should do it without complaint.
Maybe then my family would care.
But that was delusion. They wouldn’t give a damn no matter what.
I fled to my bedroom, slammed the door shut, and cried hard enough to make myself sick for the first time since my sister killed herself.
28
Darren
Spring breeze chilled the wind. I liked the way sunlight dappled the forest floor. Winter walked close, her stray flyaway hairs bustling around her beautiful face, and I wanted to stare at her, to take her in like a scenic vista.
She was so much a part of me now.
But she also pissed me off to no end.
“Why won’t you at least be reasonable?” She set her jaw and marched forward, stomping over sticks and rocks.
“You don’t understand.”
“Of course I understand. You can call a truce and negotiate concessions.”
“I won’t give up a damn thing.”
“You won’t have to.” She threw her hands in the air. “But you won’t even negotiate.”
“I’m not going over this again with you.”
She grunted in frustration and strode ahead.
I hoped we could have a nice, peaceful stroll. It was such a nice afternoon and I felt so cooped up and anxious back in the house. I thought being together with Winter outside would ease my mind, but all she wanted to do was pressure me into meeting with Roman.
A meeting I knew would end in blood.
I wished she could understand. My life was dedicated to protecting my family, and Roman was the biggest threat to their safety. He tried to kill Anthony once, and he’d try it again if he got the chance. So long as he was out there, none of them would be safe.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at the ground. Liv used to like going on hikes with me. We’d bring a blanket and snacks and find a good spot to set up. We’d play a little battery-powered radio and sing songs and eat junk until Penny and Erin found us, and then we’d all play hide and seek or manhunt or whatever. Those were good days—back when Liv was still the glue that held everyone together.