Blood. Oh, god. I was bleeding.
I shot myself.
Roman ripped the gun away. He said something. I couldn’t hear. He pressed his hand against my chest. Then there were shouts.
Darren appeared. He tackled Roman. I opened my mouth to explain but it hurt so bad. I couldn’t speak. I felt so dizzy. Darren was hitting Roman, over and over, and Erin was screaming, and more people were piling out of the house. Monica’s brother pressed a shirt against my shoulder. Oh my god, it hurt so bad. I tried to cry out and beg Darren to stop but he kept on going.
Erin said something. “You’ll be okay. You’re gonna be okay. I got you.”
“Sister,” I croaked.
She was my sister.
Half-sister.
I blinked a few times. I felt so pale and dizzy like that time I got food poisoning from the hot dogs at the baseball concession stand. My mom said that I deserved it for eating like a peasant.
Whatever. I liked hot dogs.
Erin pulled me against her. She was crying. Why did she care? I was her half-brother. But she was crying.
Darren appeared then. “Ambulance is coming. Press it tighter. You’re gonna be okay, Anthony. Stay with me. Stay with me, man.”
Roman was gone.
Darren was here.
I was a Servant. I had to be a Servant. Right?
I blinked a few more times, then everything went black.
31
Darren
Anthony was pale and shaking. “I woke up at the hospital. I guess I barely survived, but I don’t remember much. People kept asking what happened, and you kept telling them that Roman shot me, and I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I never spoke up.” He squeezed his eyes shut. More tears rolled down his cheeks. “After a while, the lie was too much. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted to tell you the truth, but then Liv killed herself, and how could I tell you then? It would’ve broken you.”
I tried to speak, but couldn’t.
There were no words.
The whole room was ringing silence.
An accident.
All this time, an accident.
Anthony took several steadying breaths and looked at Roman. “He didn’t shoot me. I shot myself. I think it was an accident, but I think about that moment all the time. I wanted to die. At the time it felt like my world collapsed. Roman didn’t mean anything by it, I think he just wanted me to know the truth about myself. He had no clue that being a Servant mattered more than life to me back then.”
“I’m sorry,” Roman said, and I flinched at his voice.
That fucking bastard.
“You don’t need to apologize,” Anthony said. “You covered for me when you didn’t have to. You protected me, even if it meant going to war with Darren. If anyone’s sorry, it’s me. There’s so much blood on my hands that sometimes I don’t know how I can wake up in the morning.”
He stared at the ground, shaking.
Roman never shot him.
The revelation still worked its way through my mind.
All these years. A decade of hating that man, of blaming him for nearly killing my brother, but wondering why he did it, of fantasizing about revenge, of trying to logic my way through that night—it was all built on a lie.
One single lie that changed everything.
I stepped closer to Anthony.
He didn’t shrink away. He raised his chin. “If you want to hurt me, you should hurt me. I deserve it. I’m a worthless piece of shit and I should die for what I did. I never should’ve let it go this far, Darren, and I’m so sorry, I’m so—”
I grabbed my brother and hugged him as hard as I could.
“Shut up, idiot.” I held him tight as he sobbed into my shoulder. “God, you stupid bastard. I love you, Anthony. You could’ve told me.”
“I’m so sorry.” He sobbed so hard his chest felt like it might break.
I couldn’t fathom living a lie for that long. Anthony must’ve been in agony every day. When I sent him out to war with Roman, he must’ve known that men were dying because he couldn’t speak the truth, and that he could end everything if he only found the courage to face his past.
He finally did it. He should’ve done it sooner—but better now than never.
I released him and looked into his eyes. He stared back and I saw the wounded ten-year-old boy again, the broken and sensitive little boy. I never should’ve brought him to that party, but I wasn’t that close with my little brother and I wanted to try. I was young and stupid. We were all young and stupid.
“We have a lot more to talk about,” I said softly, and patted his cheek. “But you’ll be okay. All right? You’re going to be okay.”
“I hope so.”
“I swear, you will be. You’re my brother. You’re a Servant. You’ll survive this like you’ve survived everything else.”