I first learned she was depressed in this place. She told me one afternoon when she was fifteen. She said things seemed so much harder for her and that normal stuff everyone else went through without issues was like being broken down and kicked in the teeth. She couldn’t understand it then, and I guess it never went away.
I came here a lot since she died. It was my sanctuary and much better than her grave. That place was sad as hell. I could smile out here and remember the good times with my sister.
I put a little vintage ring on the top of the wall. Other offerings were scattered around: matchbooks, toy cars, tiny statues, an alabaster buddha, whatever I could get my hands on and would fit on the wall. It was my shrine for my missing sister.
“Sorry I haven’t been out in a couple weeks,” I said, touching the stone. “I miss you, Livvie. I miss you a lot. But it’s getting better. Winter’s really great and Darren’s happy for once. Erin worries me, but she always did, so nothing new there.” I took a deep breath and looked up at the trees. “I don’t know why I’d ever deserve this. Peace and happiness? Those are things for decent people. Girls without blood on their hands.”
A twig snapped nearby. I looked over my shoulder.
Erin stood on the path, staring at me.
Her phone was gone. She wore dark jeans and a button-down shirt. Her face was blank, but it was always blank—she’d been good at controlling her emotions even as a little girl. I found it creepy back then, but I was used to it now.
“Did you follow me?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re not good at sneaking off.”
“I wasn’t sneaking. You never come out here.”
“Who are you talking to?” She came closer.
A strange chill ran down my spine. I suddenly didn’t want her anywhere near this wall. My shrine was my business. It was my special place, away from the family, where I could sit and remember Liv.
“Myself. What are you doing out here?”
“We need to talk.”
I tensed, hands curling into fists. “We can talk when I get back.”
“Unfortunately, it has to be now.” She came closer. I backed up into the wall. “You do remember what I said to you before, don’t you?”
“I thought you decided against that.”
“I told you, the deal was already made. You’ve been promised, and I keep my bargains.”
“Stop it, Erin. You’re freaking me out.” I looked around wildly. We were alone in the Servant woods, the safest place in the whole world.
Kaspar couldn’t get me here.
“He’s still in play. Just because Darren’s been tamed by his new little wife doesn’t mean I’ve walked away from the field. My alliance will continue, and the Servant family will grow.”
“What’s wrong with you? Things are good right now. Why do you have to ruin them?”
“Ruin them?” A flash of anger. Rare for Erin. “Things aren’t good. Things are far from good. Roman and Darren aren’t fighting, that’s true, but the other Oligarchs smell blood in the water. They’re sharks and they want to feast, and they will, I promise you that. You think this is over? It’s far, far from over, and when the dust finally settles, I’ll make sure the Servant family comes out on top.”
“What are you talking about? The other Oligarchs aren’t involved.”
Erin only slowly shook her head. “You never did have the vision or the spine for this life.” She made a vague gesture to my right. “That’s why you’re the perfect pawn to marry off.”
I looked over and saw him.
Standing at the edge of the forest. I didn’t know how he got there. He was big, muscular, a smirk on his handsome lips.
My nightmare.
“No,” I whispered.
“Deal’s a deal,” Erin said. “Kaspar’s not as bad as you think. He’ll treat you well at least.”
He said nothing, only stared at me. I wanted to scream. Wanted to run.
But it wouldn’t help. I was far enough from the house that nobody would hear, and I made sure to leave the guards behind when I left.
And if I ran, Kaspar would only enjoy the hunt.
“You can’t force me to marry him. Darren will come for me.”
“Darren will understand. You know our brother.” She smiled for the first time in a long, long time. “He may be enamored with his new wife, but he’s not stupid. He knows we need Kaspar’s help to survive the coming storm.”
I shook my head and started to back away.
But Kaspar came toward me.
“You’ll keep your word,” Erin said, speaking to him. “Treat her well. Make her your wife. And together our families will dominate the world.”
Kaspar’s smile broadened. He never took his eyes from me. He continued forward.
Erin sighed, rubbed her face, and turned away.
“Make it fast, please. You don’t have long before the guards realize there’s a gap in the perimeter.” Erin began to leave but hesitated and glanced back at me. “If it helps at all, I almost feel bad.”