The Dom Identity (Masters & Mercenaries Reloaded 2)

She hadn’t thought about that. “So we’ll meet more often than club nights?”

“Much more often. I was going to suggest we start at my place tomorrow night, but perhaps you would be more comfortable either here or in a public setting.”

“I didn’t think we would see each other…” She stopped because he was already iffy about her. Learning that he might not get what he wanted if she didn’t comply made the situation much more dangerous to her end goal. Michael was her entryway to where she needed to be, and if he rejected her, it could be weeks before another Dom became available. Or she could be sent to the other club for their training class and not allowed on the dungeon floor here for at least two months. She brought her eyes up, forcing a confidence she didn’t feel. “I’m fine coming to your place. Or here, if you prefer. I don’t think my place is suitable, Sir. And perhaps having someone to talk to would be good for me.”

He stared at her for a moment, a penetrating look that made her want to squirm. “Just like that?”

“When I think about it, it makes sense. And I’m trying to not follow my instincts since they haven’t been all that helpful so far.” She forced herself to look into his eyes and give the performance of a lifetime. Despite her critics, she thought she was pretty good at acting. “Sir, I’m tired of hating my body. I’m tired of not understanding why some people think sex is important because it doesn’t feel important to me. I want to know what my sister knew at the end.”

Oh, she meant that. She wanted to know who killed her sister, wanted to see that man before she sent him to jail. Or maybe to Hell, since the system didn’t work. At least not for people like her.

For a moment, she thought he would deny her, but then he picked up the contract again.

“Should we go over this?”

She’d been over it, but she knew what he meant. He was asking her to go through the portions where she described her hard and soft limits, whether or not she was willing to open their relationship up to sex.

She nodded.

“Good. I think we should take sex off the table for now. How about we leave intimacy open to a future discussion,” Michael offered. “We can take this as slowly as we need to go. I won’t go into any interaction with you expecting sex, and any intimate touching will be discussed before the session.”

Slow wouldn’t help her. Slow meant she wouldn’t be allowed in the dungeon. “Like what kind of touching?”

“You said you wanted to explore sex, but I want you to be comfortable with me before you make any decisions regarding how we proceed.”

She needed this man on board and quickly. If he decided she was too much trouble, then he would likely ask Julian for a new submissive. Or Julian would decide that all on his own because he was watching her.

She was out of practice. She’d gotten used to not having to play this role. With Dani and the clients she worked with, she could be herself. Or rather a version she preferred. She needed to be someone else in order to get this job done.

It was only a role. It wasn’t like the thought of Michael touching her got her heart racing. How long had it been since she’d been touched by a man who had no real idea who she was? Who didn’t think she was a celebrity who might bring him some fame? Or a whore who might make him infamous?

Wouldn’t it be nice to simply sink into the role laid out in front of her? Did she have to hold her nose and make her way through it? Or could she actually find something out about herself, too?

“I’m not being brave,” she said, taking a deep breath and hoping she said the next words with conviction. “Sir, I want to explore this, and while I don’t think we should jump into bed, I also don’t want to take that off the table. The only thing I have a worse relationship with than my body is my sexuality. Sex has always been something I performed and didn’t feel. I’d like to explore the difference with you. You were honest with me. I’ll be honest with you. I’m thirty-two years old, and I don’t think I’ve ever had a real orgasm. I’ve felt some pleasure, but nothing like what my sister described. Not like what other women seem to feel.”

He’d gone still, the tiniest bit predatory, and she hated the fact that it did something for her. “You want an orgasm?”

She stared at him for a moment and realized she kind of did. Oh, it probably wouldn’t work, but she wished it would. The days seemed so long, and if she could have one thing for herself, wouldn’t that make even a few minutes worthwhile? “I do.”