“I can imagine. You know she found another family at The Club. One that accepted her.”
That sounded too good to be true. “Well, my sister was very likable.”
“You don’t have to be likable.” Michael’s deep voice was soothing. “Likability is something I’ve come to view as one of the lesser virtues. It’s like being nice. Nice can cover a multitude of sins.”
She’d learned that as well. “Kind is better.”
“Yeah, kind is definitely better. My boss is one of the single most irritating human beings on the face of the planet,” Michael said with a smile. “And he’s also one of the kindest men I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah, I know the type. I’ll take it over all the polite people who think that taking their swipes behind your back is the height of kindness.” Her mother had been polite to everyone and never once kind. “So my sister managed to get over the fire and brimstone approach to sex we were taught?”
“She learned to appreciate her body,” Michael explained. “From what I understand, she was shy at first and gained a lot of confidence as she moved through her journey.”
Vanessa chuckled, though there was no humor behind the sound. “Well, if being able to show off your body is confidence, then I don’t need D/s.”
Michael studied her for a moment. “It depends on why you show it off. If you’re showing it off because you want to and the attention you get feeds something inside you, then yes. It should give you confidence. If you do it because someone told you it was the only way you could ever get attention, not so much. Did the nudity make you feel confident?”
They were getting deep. She wasn’t sure she was ready, but she also didn’t want the conversation to end. She liked being around him, and she was feeling comfortable talking to him. After all, they’d signed a contract. Neither of them was allowed to talk about what they did except to people in The Club and any therapist they might see. “In the beginning, yes. It made me feel very confident, like I was free for the first time. I liked acting. I didn’t mind the nude scenes, but now I think that was more about giving my mom the finger than actually being okay with myself. When I was starting out, I got a lot of praise. I was working in a small community. When I got bigger jobs, that was when the press started and…you know how you feel when you sit down for a performance review?”
“Like I’m going to want to punch my boss in the face because it’s at least half sarcasm,” Michael answered.
She was interested in Michael’s boss. He sounded like a hoot. Her experience was quite different. “Well, for me that performance review was all day, every day, and public. And more than half the time it wasn’t about my skills. It was about my body. No matter how thick your skin is, you feel it.”
“Did you feel like your body was no longer your own?”
At least he seemed to understand. “Always. I went from never showing my body because it was supposed to be private and any sexuality I had was to be used to procreate and then be ruthlessly squashed, to every inch of me being under scrutiny. It was my only value to some people. I wasn’t a person. I’m still not. I’m a joke, a cautionary tale.”
“You won’t be at The Club. I think you’ll find the D/s community to be very accepting of anyone who comes into it with good intentions. Come in with an open mind and anyone who bothers you will have to deal with me,” Michael promised.
It sounded too good to be true, but she’d read what Nicki had written. The Club had become her home. It had been a safe place for her for years. Until a predator had found her.
She wanted to believe everything Michael was telling her.
“I look forward to it,” she replied.
“Liar,” he accused softly. “But you will. Now I want to give you some homework before we go.”
She glanced up and realized it was almost lunchtime. “Oh, I didn’t know how late it was. I was supposed to be back in the office thirty minutes ago.”
He reached out and put his hand over hers. “I already texted Dani you would be late. She’s okay with it, but I’ll let you go in one minute.”
She relaxed. Dani would be fine as long as she knew where she was. “What’s my homework?”
Those emerald eyes suddenly held hers. “I’m going to call you tonight and I’m going to talk you through masturbating. Do you have a vibrator?”
She felt herself flush, and she had to force a reply. She wasn’t sure how he easily talked about this. Except that was his point. She needed to be able to talk about sex if she was going to be okay with it. “No. I don’t.”