The Dom Identity (Masters & Mercenaries Reloaded 2)

“I’ve found that good training partners often leads to a good D/s relationship,” Tessa offered.

“That’s all it could ever be, though. I’m not looking for that. I’m honestly not looking for anything at all. I’m good on my own. I think I’ll be like my sister. If I like this kind of thing, I’ll be a club sub. I’ll play around.” She wouldn’t. She was rapidly coming to the conclusion that she liked the lifestyle, liked the idea of spending hours devoted to giving and receiving physical affection, but she was pretty sure it was about the man, too.

She was worried it might be all about the man.

Julian hadn’t understood, but he’d fucked her over by pairing her with Michael. She felt guilt at lying to him, worry that she was screwing up something that could be good for her.

But how could it? She hadn’t lied to Tessa. He would never be able to take her home to his family. She would always be his dirty secret, and she couldn’t live that way. She knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Lately, though, she’d started to wonder if it actually was dirty. If they could have a relationship and it would simply be private.

She brushed the idea away because it couldn’t work. He would want a woman he could show to the world, take to his family.

“Well, I’m sure that’s what Julian is hoping for. We have more single tops than we do subs. A well-meaning sub tends to get swept up pretty fast around here.” Tessa said the words in an even tone, but there was something about her expression that made Vanessa feel like the other woman was almost disappointed in her answer.

She wasn’t sure why she would be. And she certainly couldn’t tell Tessa that she wouldn’t be here for long, and she wasn’t what Julian would call a well-meaning sub. She was lying to everyone and starting to wonder if it would even work.

“It was why everyone loved your sister so much. They all got to really know her,” Tessa continued. “She helped out everyone. Like I said, I’m not sure, but she probably helped out Kyle. He was kind of fucked up after he came home. Not in a scary way. He’s just very intense.”

Yes, that was the way Nicki described the man she referred to as MK. Intense. She’d claimed he’d watched her with burning eyes, that she could feel him watching her always.

“Nicki was intense in her own way.” She needed to work her way into a friendship with the Hawthorne clan. It would be far easier to decide if Kyle was the one her sister had talked about if she spent some time with him.

She could do it, could play the friend. Or more likely she would end up liking Tessa and feeling for her and her family.

She steeled herself because the truth of the matter was she had no family. Neither had Nicki. They’d only had each other, and in so many ways they’d failed each other in real life. They’d let things that didn’t matter come between them, allowed themselves to believe they had the luxury of time to make it right. She was the only one who could bring her sister any justice now.

“I know everyone around here adored her,” Tessa said with a fond smile. She stood up. “Let’s get you dressed and ready to go. I know David was planning on sticking pretty close to Michael tonight. Julian asked us to show you around.”

Was Julian being kind? Or did he worry she might see something she shouldn’t? “I appreciate it. And thanks for the help. I know enough about corsets to know I can’t get myself into one.”

She pulled out the stunning blue corset. It was sleek and would accentuate her every curve. It would also contrast beautifully with her eyes. Every costumer she’d ever worked with loved her in blue. It appeared Michael did, too.

She liked yellow. A sunny, happy color that made her feel vibrant. She never wore it now because it also attracted the eye. She preferred dark colors, or rather she wore them because she could hide more easily. She would never choose this peacock blue even though it would look good on her. Looking good was no longer her goal.

But this was all one big act, and she shouldn’t forget it.

She should forget how good it felt to be close to him, how safe she was when he was around, how things seemed possible when Michael held her hand.

If she chose him she was being everything her mother had accused her of, everything the world labeled her. Selfish. Narcissistic. Uncaring.

Tessa started to loosen the laces of the corset, and Vanessa went to work on her clothes. She didn’t even think about the fact that she was getting naked in a locker room. She’d done it hundreds of times.