Michael grimaced. “Yes, Mom.”
A chime rang, signaling someone was at the door. Probably Kyle. She’d gotten used to the quiet, somewhat mysterious man. Deke watched her sometimes. He was much more talkative, but he usually talked about how awesome Michael was. It was obvious he was trying to help his buddy out.
“I’ll get it.” Ava walked out of the kitchen.
Michael passed her the strawberry preserves. “Did you sleep okay?”
She nodded. She was surprised how well she slept now. She’d expected nightmares and anxiety, and instead she was so exhausted she slept like a log.
How would she sleep when he wasn’t around to push her boundaries? To give her so much pleasure she couldn’t think of anything except him?
“I was up half the night staring at the ceiling.” He covered a yawn.
“Why?” Now that she really looked at him, she could see the weariness in his eyes. “Everything’s going well. I haven’t even had a nasty voice mail from Junior in a week.”
He stared right at her, a grim look on his face. “Yes, and that makes me think you’re planning to leave me as soon as possible.”
She didn’t like how her heart ached at the hollowness of his words. “I told you I would.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I also know I deserve it, but I can’t stand the thought of being here without you. I’ve lived in this condo for ten years, and now I cannot imagine it without you.”
“Don’t.” They’d stayed far away from emotional discussions. Even when she broke down and cried her eyes out, he’d simply held her. He hadn’t pushed her in this way.
“I have to say it because I’ll regret it if I don’t try,” he replied. “Vanessa, I love you. Just stay with me for another month or so and see how you feel at the end of it.”
Stay with him. Sleep with him. Get used to how lovely he could make life. Spend time with his family. Fall in love with them so it would hurt if she didn’t see them.
She was already in love with his family. She adored his nephews and brother and dad, and she so loved his mother. It was like having a real mom for the first time in her life.
“I don’t know.” Maybe it was time to be honest instead of pissed off. “I’m having a hard time forgiving you, but I’m also struggling to figure out what the world looks like without you.”
“I want you to know that if you choose to walk away from me, you won’t lose the people you’ve met.” Michael put a hand over hers, warming her. “You won’t lose the friends you’ve made. You’ve started to put together a group of people you can count on, and I need you to understand that you not accepting me won’t change that.”
Those stupid tears that always seemed so close to the surface were back again. Since he’d pushed her to cry that first night she’d never managed to get the numb iciness she’d come to rely on back. She’d tried to build it up, and every single night she was reminded of how much nicer it was to be warm.
She knew she wouldn’t lose Dani. She hadn’t honestly made many other friends. They all kept her at arm’s length. Or maybe she was the one who didn’t know how to connect after everything she’d been through. “Somehow I don’t see your mom paying much attention to me if I walk away.”
Michael huffed. “You don’t know my mom then.” He kissed her cheek and stepped back. “I want you to know that I’ll do anything I can to make your life easier. Even if I’m not in it. I’ll be right back. I’m sure that was Kyle, and we should leave for work soon.”
He walked off, and she had to force herself not to go after him. It was hard to be in this odd limbo. She was with Michael but she wasn’t. She’d made a decision but she truly hadn’t.
Was she fighting the inevitable?
Her cell buzzed, a short sound that let her know she had a text coming in.
She flipped it over and quickly read the text Lane had sent.
I’m in a meeting but I thought I should let you know that I’ve got rumblings of an interview about you coming out later today. More details to follow. Don’t panic.
Oh, she was definitely going to panic. Who was doing an interview about her? Junior? He was the most likely one, but any interview about her would likely lead to questions about his involvement with the busted blackmail scheme. Junior wasn’t usually the kind to leave himself open. Right now they didn’t have the evidence they needed to charge him, but if he opened that door, Michael and Deke would take apart everything he revealed, and they wouldn’t stop until they’d made sure they left no crumb unturned.