Lev (Shot Callers 1)

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Gaping fish was a good look on me.

Instead, Lev replied calmly, “Up until three months ago, Mina lived on the streets.”

Silence. Thick as concrete.

“What happened three months ago?” James asked icily.

Lev uttered, “I found her.” His message was implied. I was his. His hand came down on my thigh, squeezing lightly.

John surmised, “You chose being homeless over living with us?” He sounded hurt.

Maggie’s eyes shone brightly. “We would’ve taken care of you, honey. You were our girl.”

It was funny what seven years could do to a person. In listening to all of this bullshit, I found myself bitter. I scoffed, “Oh yeah? I thought I was nothing but a little whore, Maggie? Isn’t that what you called me? Oh wait, no. That’s not right. Apparently, I was a little tramp.”

Maggie drew back, her expression pained, but I wasn’t done.

“You were angry with me.” I turned to a somber John. “You both were.” I looked at James. His jaw clenched tight. “And you…” I shook my head. “You said nothing.” My heart clenched. “You said you loved me, but when we were caught, where were you? Hiding with you tail between your legs, that’s where.” I shook my head. “Don’t tell me I had a place here. I considered you my parents up until that day.” I glared at James. “I wasn’t the only one to blame.”

John spoke quietly, “I think we all handled the situation poorly.”

Maggie shook her head. “No. I handled the situation poorly.” She blinked away tears. “I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I regretted saying those things to you the second they were out of my mouth.” She tried to force a laugh, but it came out a whimper. “I don’t even know why I said it. But I’ve regretted it for seven years.”

Her emotion hit me hard.

I felt like an asshole. “It wasn’t just you, Maggie. The whole situation was out of control.” I sighed. “There was no way you would have let James and me be together. Even if somehow you were okay with it, which you weren’t, child services would have placed me in a different home when they found out. I was seventeen. I didn’t want to go to another home.” My breath caught as I let out a broken, “This was my home.”

At my sudden distress, Maggie broke down. She placed a hand over her face and cried silently. The mood at the table had dampened a notch and a half. John sat quietly while James frowned down at his hands.

This was something I caused. I needed to do something, say something. “For what it’s worth, you guys were the best. I loved you, and I never thought badly of you after what happened. I just needed to go. Be on my own. I was sick of being someone else’s burden.”

At that, James stood suddenly. “I’m out.” He didn’t look at me. “Glad you’re not dead, Mina.”

Before anyone could respond, he was gone. I stood before I realized what I was doing and followed him. He was not going to make me feel guilty, dammit.

When I stepped out the front door, he was already unlocking his car. “What is your problem, James?”

He opened the car door. “Go back inside, Mina.”

He tried to sit and close the door on me, but I caught it before it shut, pulling it open. “No. We’re going to have it out. What is your deal?”

James scoffed. “Go back to your man, Mina. Forget about us. Again.”

Oooh. We were finally getting to the point of things.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

His expression turned vicious. He stepped out of the car and stood a foot away from me. “Why am I mad?” He glowered. “Why am I mad?” He blinked a moment before throwing his arms out and shouting, “You left me!”

Uh…what?

His jaw ticked. “You didn’t even say goodbye, just packed a bag and ran. You left me. You left us,” he panted. “I loved you.”

My heart sank. “I loved you, too. But when push came to shove, you didn’t show me at the time I needed it most. Your mother said some vile things to me, and you said nothing.”

He dipped his chin, shaking his head. “I was a kid, Mina. You were my girl. She was my mom. We both knew what we were doing was wrong. Why else would we have kept it hidden? We knew we shouldn’t have been doing it, but we loved each other. Nothing else mattered.” He sighed. “If you’d have just given her some time to cool down… She was shocked.”

I gritted my teeth. “I was seventeen years old. She called me a tramp. She had hate in her eyes. And you…you wouldn’t even look at me.” I told him the honest truth. “You were a coward.”