Vik (Shot Callers 2)

I stepped back away from him with my arms by my sides and confessed quietly, “I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.”

Vik’s face gentled in a way that made my heart sink deep into my gut, and when he opened his mouth to respond, I waited. His mouth closed. It opened once more, but nothing came out.

Yep. That was about the size of it.

My eyes sad, I nodded slowly. My nose tingled, and I forced a smile.

Rejection was an awful feeling, and we both drowned in it, pulling each other under, trying in vain to take in a gasping breath before we expired.

Now, as Vik helped a giggling Anika out of the car, I watched in silence as he carefully walked her into the house. “Take a step,” he uttered patiently. “And another. There you go. Almost there.”

I quickly moved to unlock the front door, allowing him entrance. His body filled the open doorway, and a flash memory of him grinning down at me, blocking access to the house until I stepped on my tiptoes, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him down to kiss him, assaulted me. He carefully walked his sister up the stairs, knowing well enough where my room was, seeing as he’d spent a thousand and one nights in there with me, locked away from the world, locked in each other’s embrace.

I didn’t follow. I waited in the hall. He returned and walked right past me.

My soul cried out for him, but my mouth refused to relay the emotion, having given too much tonight with zero return.

He reached the doorway and faltered, pausing midstep. Without looking back, his whisky-smooth voice washed over me like a cooling rain on a summer’s day.

“For what it’s worth, I miss you too.”

It fed me, that little tidbit. A tiny morsel thrown at a starving woman. And as much as it nourished, it poisoned.

He closed the door behind him, and the click of the latch echoed in the open space. It felt so final that I began to cry.

With a heavy heart, I looked down at the tiles in the foyer through blurry eyes and sniffled. “Horseshit.”

It took me a minute to get myself under control, but when I finally did, a sigh of resignation left me as I made my way up the stairs. In my room, I found Anika lying on the bed in her dress with her shoes kicked off. The small, jerky movements let me know she was still awake, so, being the friend I was, I groaned as I pulled her droopy body up in an attempt to undress her. “Up you get.”

Her head flopped from side to side, and she sulked, “I’m tired.”

Unzipping her dress, I worked the sleeves down her arms and laughed under my breath. “I know you are, kukla. Let me get you into something more comfortable, and you can sleep your little heart out.”

“Okay.” She yawned sweetly.

I struggled to work a nightie over her head, and when she threw herself back on the bed, I slid her dress down her legs, leaving the nightie pooling around her stomach. Look, it was as good as it was going to get. With a little swat to her hip, I whispered, “You’re good to go, babe. Get some sleep.”

Another yawn, then she managed to surprise me with a weary-sounding, “Nastasia, why don’t you love Vik anymore?”

A record scratched in my head.

My heart skipped a beat, not only at the bluntness of her question but at how wrong her assumption was. I peered out into the darkness a moment before I moved to switch on the lamp and found her glazed eyes blinking up at me as she pulled the covers up to her neck.

I didn’t know what to say. Anika and I had this unwritten rule since we were teenagers that we simply didn’t talk about my relationship with her brother. But the fact that she asked suddenly had me desperate to talk about it. Or more accurately, to explain myself.

Honesty always came easy for me, but right then, the words grated so hard they hurt. “You aren’t asking the right question, Ani.” I pulled myself back against the headboard, hugging my knees tightly. “You should be asking why Vik is so scared to commit.”

She lifted herself up onto her elbow, her mouth pulled down. Her expression accused me of being crazy. “Scared to commit?” She threw herself back down on the bed, making a sound I can only describe as half laugh, half groan. When she stopped, she let out an incredulous, “Vik has been committed to you since forever, Nas. What are you talking about?”

I knew Ani well enough to know she didn’t mean it to sound mocking, but it did. This was hard for me. Talking about it only made me feel small and inferior. But maybe if she knew, she’d let it go.