Perhaps it should have felt different than it did. I thought it would be exciting. Instead, it felt like a chore.
No dates. No flowers. No limo.
We were sharing half of an experience here, and it was noticeable.
I hadn’t seen Vik that evening. Truthfully, I hadn’t expected to. It was a Saturday night, and my father needed him. Chaos was a growing syndicate, and they needed all hands on deck if they were to develop the sprouting heads into fully formed blossoms.
We understood you were only strong as a united firm. The men had obligations to attend to. That usually translated into time away from family, but the wives understood. You did not marry a member of Chaos without considering the sacrifices that came with such a role.
Perhaps it was sad, but I already knew the way of things. Vik would be there when he could. And that meant I wouldn’t always get him when I wanted him.
Tonight was one such night. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t saddened by it.
From our table, I watched Anika dance with her cheer friends, and I smiled, knowing she was happy in her element. Unfortunately, I was so far out of mine that it almost pained me to sit alone at our table.
I didn’t feel as though I belonged here. I never felt like I belonged anywhere.
I was the daughter of Anton Leokov. I was Sasha’s sister. I was Anika’s friend. I was the girl with the addled brother. The one whose mother disappeared in the middle of the night. I was a constant plus-one. Always someone’s “something.”
Eternally the other.
Never the one.
It got boring after a while. It also made me sadder than I cared to admit.
If I wished hard enough, perhaps one day, someone might put me first. I held that belief close. I had to. I just had to.
A few boys asked me to dance. I politely declined. And as I sighed, sitting with my chin resting on my upturned hand, I scraped my nail down the thick fabric of the linen tablecloth in pure boredom as another tried his hand.
“Wanna dance?” came from behind me, just barely heard over the music.
Without even turning, I responded a gracious but uninterested, “No thanks.”
“You’d rather just sit there all night?”
Oh, come on, buddy. Let it go.
“Yep,” I said, popping the P.
My brow furrowed when the chair in front of me was rudely pulled out. My eyes almost popped out of my head when Vik lowered himself into the seat and said, “Here I am thinking she’s gonna be over the moon.” He placed a plastic-boxed corsage gently on the table. I blinked up at him in wide-eyed wonder. He shook his head slowly and uttered, “And to think I wore this penguin suit for you.”
Oh my God.
He’s here.
Glee filled me.
He’s here!
But then my fractured mind got the better of me.
Why is he here?
But before I could think on it, my gaze passed over the tux, and I all but swallowed my tongue. Everything else faded away until it was just him.
He looked… He looked…. Lord. I couldn’t even comprehend how he looked.
The tux looked expensive. While all the other boys wore white shirts and black ties, Vik never did things the usual way. Choosing instead to wear a black tux, a black shirt, and a black tie with his high-top Vans. And as I glanced down at myself, it made me wonder if he’s coordinated himself so we were matching.
He looked amazing.
A stray thought crossed me, and there it stayed.
He looks like my future husband.
Words failed me. Vik filled the empty air around us, taking the corsage out of the box. “You kept going on and on about the dress. You were so excited about it.” He took my hand and slipped the crimson-red roses onto my wrist, turning my hand to secure the ribbon with deft fingers. “I don’t get it myself, but it turns out that anything that excites you excites me. I mean, I knew you were gonna look good, because you always do, but damn, baby.” His eyes looked me over appreciatively, and my heart stammered. It beat completely out of time when he rumbled a flattering, “You’re a knockout.”
Ugh. He was too much. I couldn’t deal.
My voice soft, I asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m here.”
“You had work.”
“I skipped.”
My gaze narrowed on him. “Why?”
“Jesus, Nas.” The words came out purely exasperated. “I guess my priorities have changed.”
White noise whooshed in my ears.
What did he just say?
I struggled to breathe right as I thought on his annoyed statement. The words and their intent were clear.
For once in my life, I was a first choice.
Vik chose me.
My chest ached in a melancholy happiness. I was a priority to someone. Hell, I could have cried. And from the way my nose tingled, I was about to.