Vik (Shot Callers 2)

“Do you want me to drive you?” asked Mina sweetly.

I responded just as sugary. “No, because I’d like to get there in one piece.”

Her face bunched. “I’m not that bad a driver.”

“You stopped in the middle of the highway,” I deadpanned. “Slammed on the brakes. Almost caused a pile up.”

“I thought I hit something!” she exclaimed.

My brow rose. “And what was it, Mina? What did you hit?”

At least she had the grace to look embarrassed.

“Balled up socks,” she mumbled.

“Ha!” came from Cora. Her body shook as she laughed out loud.

“Socks,” I confirmed. “You held up traffic for dirty, old socks. Yeah. I’d rather ask the crackhead at the mall to drive me, honey.”

Mina turned to Lev, wide-eyed and moping, as she let out a hushed, “I thought it was a kitten.”

Vik spoke then. “I’ll take you.”

And I balked.

Oh hell no, he wasn’t.

I feigned ease. “I’m good, really. Thanks.”

He looked at me then, as if seeing right through me. “Not a question. I want to take you.”

And because I would have done anything to avoid that situation, I looked to his sister, at the vacancy in her eyes, and said, “Anika will go with me. Right, Ani?”

She blinked back into focus, turning to face me. I shot her a look. She must have read between the lines, because she nodded almost immediately. “Of course.”

Phew.

“See?” I reassured Vik with a smile. “No problem.”

He didn’t appear satisfied. In fact, his lips thinned in displeasure, and his body language changed, became more rigid, inflexible, but he let it go. I had a feeling his need to care for me had to do with his inability to stay with me when I was sick. As though he was trying to make it up to me, which was super sweet. It pained me to keep this secret, but he was not going to find out about this pregnancy until I was ready for him to know.

My inkling was confirmed when it was time for Anika and me to leave and Vik saw us out. As I walked out of the house, Vik reached out, taking hold of my wrist between gentle fingers. Anika’s gaze flittered down to where her brother held me, and her eyes rested on the spot before she looked up and said tonelessly, “I’ll go wait by the car,” then off she went.

The warmth of his hand on me had my stomach clenching. More so when he asked, “Are we good?”

The way he looked at me, with uncertainty in his eyes, had me feeling like a jerk.

No hesitation. “Always.”

Vik blew out a long breath, his expression frustrated. “Then why do I feel like you’re pulling away again?”

Pulling away again?

Confusion swept through me, but more than that, my chest squeezed in a way that said the accusation may not have been so farfetched. That I’d been exposed.

That hand tugged, drawing me closer. “I thought we were doing okay.”

We were. “We are.”

His voice rough, he ordered gently, “Then stop pushing me away.”

I wasn’t. Was I?

I didn’t know what to say, and so Vik filled the space. “I know I’m not the smartest man, but I know the routine you spin. Old habits, right? Every time you pull away, you make me work so fucking hard to have you again, and just when I think we’re good, just when I start to feel content, you distance yourself. A constant push and pull. You’re playing tug-o-war with my heart.”

No, I wasn’t. I didn’t.

When he stepped back, I felt the tremendous loss of him. “Not a fool, kiska. You’ve said it before. That I can’t commit.” He put his hands to his hips, and the unhurried, pained way he spoke damn near broke my heart. “Baby, I can’t believe I have to explain this to you, but I’ve been committed to you for almost thirteen years with the hopes of having you forever and always.” My heart both swelled and sank simultaneously. But it dropped completely when he uttered a dejected, “And I’m starting to think it’s you who can’t commit to me.”

Vik left me there on the porch, alone with my thoughts, and what a mess they were.

He wasn’t right, of course. He couldn’t be.

Isn’t he?

No. Because that would make me the bad guy here.

Then why is your heart beating so fast?

Sure, I had a habit of detecting a risk before there was one. I took preemptive measures to protect myself, my heart. And every time I felt that niggling feeling that something wasn’t right, I—my chest squeezed with the acknowledgement—ran.

My mind buzzed. That comprehension sat a while, and it festered.

I loathed to admit it, but… but maybe he was right.

Regrettably, I could only deal with one thing at a time, and I had a doctor’s appointment to attend.

28

Nastasia

“I thought you said you were going to the doctor,” Anika said quietly, almost nervously, as we took our seats in the waiting room of the clinic.