When Sparks Fly

“Okay. Sounds good. I appreciate you trying to help find a solution.”

“It’s the least I can do, London.”

“Thank you.” She ends the call. I run my hands through my hair and lean back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling.

My phone rings and I check the caller ID before I answer. “What’s up, J?”

“Hey, man, are you still at work?”

“Yeah. Just wrapping up, what’s up?” Things with the guys were tense at first after the whole me and Avery thing came out, but we talked it out over a game of squash—during which Mark and Jerome took cheap shots at my balls—and since then, things have been back to normal.

“Want to go for a beer? We’re down the street at Phinn McCool’s.”

“What are you doing there?”

“I had a lunch meeting that turned into an all afternoon meeting and Mark stopped by on his way home from work.”

I check my messages. I have one from Avery saying she’s going to be late on account of work and not to worry about dinner for her. I haven’t hung out with just the guys since our squash talk. “Yeah, sure, I should be there in, like, fifteen.”

I finish up my emails and head down the street to the bar. Jerome and Mark are in a booth, game highlights playing on the wall of TVs across from them. I slide in beside Jerome and we exchange a round of props, and I order a beer from the server.

“How’s it going?” Jerome asks.

“Good. It’s an adjustment being back in the office every day. I was getting used to my sweats and T-shirt uniform.”

“I bet. How’s Avery dealing with full time back at Spark House?” Mark swirls his beer around in his pint glass.

“You know Ave, she likes to do everything at Mach 10, so by the time she gets home, she’s beat.” Lately she’s been passing out in front of the TV by eight. “Otherwise she’s doing well.”

“And the two of you? How’s that?”

“Good. We’re good. It’s uh…”

“Good?” Jerome supplies.

Mark and Jerome exchange a look and Mark chuckles, but it sounds a little tense.

“Is there something going on?”

“Nah, man. We’re glad things are good.” Jerome glances at the TV across the room.

“Sounds like there’s a but in there.”

“No but,” Mark says. “It’s more that this whole shift has to be kind of hard. Avery going back to work full-time, you doing the same. New stresses, new dynamic to the relationship, that’s all.”

“Everything’s basically back to normal.” I take another gulp of my beer.

“You mean in the sense that she’s healing and you’re both back to working five days a week, if not more for Avery. That can be hard on a relationship, any relationship, and we don’t really know where the two of you stand. It seems pretty serious, and I guess we’re just worried.”

“About what?”

“How things are going to work out in the long run. This is the longest you’ve ever been with anyone.” Mark gives me a small, worried smile. “Usually as soon as the feelings come into play, you’re out the door, but you can’t do that with Avery, because you live together.”

I can feel my defenses going up, mostly because he’s right. That’s exactly what I usually do, and I don’t want to admit that now that she’s back at work and so am I, I’m worried about how things are going to play out too.

She’s gone all day. Out of my sight for chunks of time. It’s hard not to wonder what she’s doing all the time and resist the urge to check up on her. It’s not that I don’t trust Avery; it’s more that I don’t think I’ve ever been around healthy relationships to even know what a good one looks like. My dad screwed around with his secretary, and my mom went behind his back and slept with his best friend as revenge. It was a messy, unhealthy way to grow up, filled with paranoia and vendettas.

Any attempt I’ve ever made to get into a real relationship has basically gone up in flames, usually because I start to worry and can’t deal with all the paranoia that brings. No one wants to be with someone who smothers them. Until now, I haven’t had to deal with all of my trust issues because Avery and I have been together basically twenty-four seven. But we’re both back at work full-time now, and I recognize that we can’t continue to be together that much.

I don’t say any of that, though. Instead, I go with: “Everything is under control.”

“Does she know you’re in love with her?” Mark asks.

Jerome laughs. “Dude, that’s a ridiculous question.”

“Huh?” Those words feel like an electric shock.

Mark’s eyebrow lifts. “Come on, man, you’ve been in love with her since college. I mean, we could see it.” He motions between himself and Jerome. “We figured when you moved in together two years ago, you’d finally acknowledge it, but uh … you kept up with the extracurriculars.” He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Anyway. We’re here if you need to talk this stuff through. I mean, we’re not relationship gurus or anything, but we know you, and we know Ave, and we’ve both done the long-term thing, so if you need to talk stuff out, let us know.”