“I watched you fall apart, and I was there to pick up all the damn pieces when you and Sam broke up. You’ve never gotten over him. You might say you have, but obviously you haven’t if you’re willing to drive a damn hour to spend the day with him!”
I hold a hand up, as much to get him to stop as to keep some space between us. “Declan, please listen, I understand how upset you are, but you’re not being logical. I am very much over Sam. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with you if I wasn’t, and I certainly would not have considered speaking with Sam, let alone working on any kind of project with him.”
“There’s no way you’re working on a project with him. Absolutely fucking not. I won’t allow it.”
I take a step back, not liking the version of Declan that I’m seeing. “You won’t allow it?”
“You can’t think I’m going to be okay with you talking to him again. How would you feel about me working on a project with one of my exes?”
“You don’t even have any exes.” I cringe, because that was absolutely the wrong thing to say, but telling me what I can and can’t do isn’t going to make things better.
“How about Becky?” he sneers. “How would you feel about me hanging out with her for an entire day? Then me coming home and jumping right in the shower?”
I see all the ways this has gone wrong, but I don’t know how to fix it, not with Declan going off the handle and me feeling overwhelmed and defensive. “First of all, Becky’s conversation skills are on par with a drunk twenty-one-year-old’s, so any hanging out the two of you have done in the past has involved nudity only, which isn’t the same thing, or the definition of a relationship. Secondly, I jumped in the shower because I’d been running around an adventure camp all day, coming up with ideas to help Spark House because we happened to lose a major sponsor on account of a video featuring me acting like an asshole. And third, Sam is married, with a daughter.”
Declan scoffs. “And being married is somehow supposed to put my mind at ease. He cheated on you!”
“I know. But that’s not the point, Declan. He’s happily married, and you and I are supposed to be in a relationship, one I thought was pretty solid until now. If you don’t trust me, how is this supposed to work?”
“This isn’t just about trusting you, Avery. I walked away from that friendship for you. I chose you, and the first contact he makes in damn well years, you go to him. And now you’re telling me that you’re going to be working with him? How the hell am I supposed to be okay with that? After everything he put you through, you’re still willing to pick him over me.”
I didn’t realize he would see things like that. “I’m not choosing him over you.”
“But you are. He called. You went. I think that speaks fucking volumes, don’t you?” Declan’s eyes are wild, his nostrils flared, jaw clenched in anger.
“Not for any of the reasons you think.” He’s approaching it as though it’s cut-and-dry, and while technically what he’s saying is true, the reasoning is all wrong.
I’ve known for a long time that Declan has trust and relationship issues. And in the back of my mind, I worried that this would happen, that something would trigger that insecurity. Declan is very good at self-sabotage, and I naïvely wanted to believe I would be the exception to this rule.
“That’s not the fucking point! You think you’re over him, but now you’re telling me you’re going to be spending time with him. What’s this project you’re working on? Is it a one-time thing?”
“No, probably not.” While I didn’t expect Declan to be happy, I definitely didn’t expect this.
He paces the room, shaking his head. “I know how this works, Ave. You say you’re over him and that he’s happy, but then you’ll have meetings that go late, and I’ll be wondering if it’s just a meeting or if you’re screwing him while I’m sitting here like a chump, waiting for you to come home.”
“And if it wasn’t Sam, if it was Brock or some other guy I might have gone out with once or twice, would that make a difference?”
He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter because it is Sam.”
“Spark House needs this opportunity, Declan. You of all people know we need this. We lost a major opportunity when Go Green pulled their sponsorship, and this is my way of making a significant contribution and recouping some of our losses, and maybe, if we’re lucky, getting back into the good graces of the company who dropped us.”