When Sparks Fly

“I know you lost the sponsor and it’s partially my fault. Everything is my fucking fault! The fact that you ended up broken is my damn fault. I was pissed off that you went out with that stupid Brock guy, and I went out and got drunk and picked up the first random who looked even remotely like you. I have to live with that for the rest of my damn life. I don’t need you throwing it in my fucking face in the form of your damn ex.”

His words settle under my skin, turning my blood to sludge. I suspected there were other reasons for Declan going out that night, but to actually hear it, and to know that the reason I was alone that morning is because of Declan’s jealousy, one he refused to acknowledge, and a monster he clearly can’t get a handle on, breaks my heart. Because it means that the end I didn’t want to see coming is here, even though I tried my hardest to keep it from happening.

“Are you saying you don’t trust me?”

“How the hell can I after this?” he seethes.

“If there isn’t any trust, Declan, there can’t be any us.”

His expression flattens. “I guess that’s it, then.”

He turns and walks out of the room. A few seconds later the front door slams shut, and I’m left wondering how so much could change in the span of one single day.

26

SHIFTING GEARS

AVERY

By the time I get up the next morning, Declan is already gone. I slept like garbage, a million unfortunate scenarios playing out in my head, along with the awareness that he’d gone somewhere, and that he wasn’t with Jerome or Mark, kept me from experiencing any kind of peace.

In the hours between our fight and this morning, I’ve had plenty of time to really think about my actions yesterday. While I still don’t believe I did anything wrong technically, I hadn’t considered how Declan would react, or how he would see it as such a betrayal. He was right to be upset, but this isn’t just about Sam. He was what sent Declan over the edge. If not this, it would have been something else eventually.

I’d planned to tell him about the meeting with Sam, and about how seeing him made me so very aware that what Declan and I had was so much better than what Sam and I ever did. That there wasn’t a comparison. That I’d been in love with him longer than I realized and was afraid to admit it.

But I didn’t get the chance and his reaction was painfully enlightening. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me and who will actively sabotage our relationship the moment he feels threatened. And that’s how Declan operates, not by any fault of his own, but that’s just how he is. He has no idea what a stable relationship looks like.

Apart from ours.

But we complicated that with sex, and now I’m afraid our friendship has been completely obliterated.

I pack a bag, throwing in a few outfits, bed wear, and any other essentials. I need to figure things out, and I can’t stay here while I do that. I leave for Spark House with a full suitcase and a heavy heart.

* * *

“I’m so sorry, Avery. Is there anything you can do to make it better? Anything we can do?” Harley gives my arm a squeeze.

“I don’t know. I get that he’s upset, but he’s blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I don’t know. I can’t change his past, and we can’t live in a bubble where there aren’t any outside influences. He just … lost it. He was completely irrational, making demands and telling me what I can and can’t do.”

London sighs, looking sad. “I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that Sam reached out and contacted you.”

“Yeah, well, half of me wishes he didn’t, because then I wouldn’t be dealing with this.” I rub a hand over my face, exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically.

“I wish one of us had been there when you got the email so maybe we could have dealt with it as a team,” Harley says softly.

“The only thing I was thinking about was the opportunity to make up some of the revenue I’d lost us. And I get why Declan is upset, I really do, but the way he handled it was way offsides. He didn’t even try to give me the benefit of the doubt, and he sure wasn’t willing to listen. And then he dropped the bomb on me about why he hadn’t been able to drive with me to the damn event, and it all made sense.”

“I thought it was because he picked up some random at a bar,” London says, arms crossed over her chest.

“It was, but the reason he picked her up in the first place is because I went on the date with Brock the Rock and he was jealous.”