When Sparks Fly

“What was the guy’s name that you’d been living with? Harvey? Harry?”

“Harvey. He moved out at the perfect time. Man, the guys were annoyed at me for asking you if you wanted to take the second bedroom.”

“Annoyed? Why?”

“Because they already saw what I couldn’t.” He chews on the inside of his bottom lip.

“Which was what?”

“That I was in love with you, but I was too blind to realize it. Or too afraid is more like it.” He traces the edge of the photo. “I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the way I’ve handled things with you, or haven’t, actually. I kept having meaningless flings because I was terrified of commitment, and I was convinced I could never be good enough for you.”

“That’s not true at all, though. You’ve been my best friend for years, Declan. And honestly you were the best roommate a girl could ask for.”

“Minus all the extracurriculars.” His ears go red with embarrassment, or maybe it’s shame, which is something I don’t want him to feel right now.

“I knew relationships were hard for you, and mostly I was sad that you were shortchanging yourself on finding something with meaning. But maybe if I’m one hundred percent honest about it, as much as I didn’t love being a witness to your flings, part of me was happy that you weren’t settling down, because if you had, we wouldn’t be here.” I sigh and hook my pinkie with his. “I think I’ve had feelings for you as long as you’ve had feelings for me. I didn’t want to mess with our friendship.”

He nods, as if he understands exactly what I mean. “When you went on that date with Brock, it really hit me that you might find someone and then what would happen to us? I kept thinking about the way Harvey had finally settled down with his girlfriend and moved out. How Mark was ready to find someone. College was long over, we were all on career paths, looking to take the next step. Things were going to change eventually. I either had to change with it or risk losing you altogether.” He threads his fingers through mine. “I want us to be friends like before, Avery.”

“I don’t think I can do that, Declan.”

He drops his head and his shoulders rise and fall on a long exhale, and when he peeks up at me, his eyes are full of sadness and panic. “But we’ve been doing so good, don’t you think? Or maybe it’s not enough?”

“That’s not what I mean. I’ve realized something over the past few months. I love our friendship and what we’ve built over the years. I think just like you’ve been avoiding relationships because you’re afraid of ending up like your parents, I’ve been avoiding them too. Not because I didn’t want to experience the hurt I did with Sam, but because I didn’t want to lose you. And I wasn’t sure I could ever find a partner who would be half as amazing as you were as a friend.” I squeeze his hand. “If you’re ready to try again, to be together, so am I, and even if you’re not, I’m okay to wait until you are, as long as that’s what you want too.”

“I’m ready. I want you. I want to be with you. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy and I’m probably going to make a lot of mistakes along the way, but if you’re willing to be patient with me, I will try my best not to be a jealous asshole.”

“It’s okay to be a jealous asshole sometimes; it’s just in the delivery.”

“I’ve noticed that being an accusing dick doesn’t win me a lot of points.” He exhales a relieved breath. “So we’re going to do this? Be a couple? Date?”

“I would love that.”

He leans in and presses his lips to mine briefly. “I missed you so much, I can’t even tell you. I missed the way you always leave your underwear hanging on that stupid line in the laundry room. I missed finding the empty milk carton in the fridge. I missed leftovers and crossword puzzles and horrible romantic comedies.”

“And Thor?”

“Not Thor.”

“Not even a little bit?” I hold my fingers apart a fraction of an inch.

“Nope.”

The server brings out our entrees.

“Do you want to pack these up and take them home? I mean, back to the condo? Or are we not at that point yet?”

Declan runs a hand through his hair. “Uh, well. We can do that, but I’ll be honest, it’s been a lot of months since I’ve been alone with you, and I’m not sure how amazing my self-control is going to be.”

“I can deal with that if you can.”

“I can. I would like to deal with that.” He nods a couple of times, like he’s reassuring himself. “Let’s get out of here.”