“I won’t deny that I have been sick for the last four months,” he says. “And I won’t say you didn’t hurt me, because you did. But, fuck, Jess, if I didn’t think you were worth the pain, if I didn’t think you were worth the wait, and if I didn’t believe in us the way I do, do you honestly think I would have stuck around?”
I sniff. “But—”
“You say you wouldn’t have been able to do the same, but I know that’s a lie, too. Because if I would have asked you for time, for space, you would have given it to me. And if I would have asked you to wait for me to figure out what I needed, you would have done it. Tell me you wouldn’t have.”
I bite my bottom lip hard against the emotion building in my throat. Kade just lifts a brow, waiting.
“I would have,” I whisper.
“And why?”
I close my eyes, then, releasing more tears. “Because I love you.”
“Because you love me. And I love you, Jess. In case you haven’t realized it yet, love isn’t some beautiful painting hanging in a museum. It’s scarred with pencil marks and eraser stains and layers of paint trying to hide the one underneath it and failing miserably. It’s messy — perfectly so. Maybe you don’t deserve me. Maybe I don’t deserve you. But we love each other enough that none of that matters.”
“I just don’t know if I’m good for you…”
He smiles then, swiping away a fresh tear with his thumb before I lean into his touch.
“Why don’t you let me be the one to decide that.”
I don’t get the chance to answer because he frames my face in his hands and pulls me into him, his lips warm and salty when they meet mine, and I taste our tears when I open my mouth and he slides his tongue inside.
Our hearts breathe a sigh of relief at the kiss, hands trembling where we hold each other, and suddenly it’s far too cold to be comfortable. I climb into his lap, holding on tight as I soak in every kiss I’ve missed in the last four months, and he holds me just as tight, wrapping himself up in my warmth.
“Come on,” he whispers, reluctantly breaking our kiss and pulling me to stand. “I don’t want to fuck you in a public place this time. I want you all to myself.”
I blush at the memory of the karaoke event, laughing a little as he tucks me under his arm and steers us back toward Greek Row.
Time seems to pass unnaturally on that walk, our hands intertwined, words no longer needed, our hearts beating soundly for the first time in months. When we make it back to the A Sig house, he quietly leads me inside and back to his room, locking the door behind him once we’re inside.
It’s pitch black, not a single light on, and his blackout curtains shielding the Christmas lights from the courtyard. I feel his hands on me before my eyes adjust, and even then, I can barely make him out, barely see more than an inch in front of my face.
But I feel him.
I feel his breath on my skin, his lips against my neck as he tugs me into him and presses his body flush against mine. He kisses blindly until he finds my mouth, his hands exploring in the dark, gliding the length of my ass before cupping and slipping between my legs.
I loose a breath at the feeling, at being touched, at knowing he’ll be the only one touching me forever—
Or, at least, until he’s sick of me.
Anxiety tries to fight its way through, but Kade’s next kiss silences all attempts, and then I’m led backward, the back of my knees hitting the bed before we tumble into it.
“Everything that I am,” he whispers against my stomach as he peels my sweatshirt off, my hair tumbling through the neck hole and over my breasts as he discards it. “Everything that I have,” he says as he wrangles me out of my sports bra. “It all belongs to you.”
I run my hands through his short hair, pulling him to me until I can find his mouth, and I kiss him with the promise that I feel the same.
Slowly, piece by piece, I strip him down as he does the same to me. We climb under the comforter and pull it up over our heads, our hot, needy breaths warming us as we explore every inch of each other in the dark.
I flip him onto his back, tasting his abs on my way down to his shaft, and he hisses a breath when I take him inside my mouth, swallowing him whole.
I don’t even get to adequately tease him before it’s me being flipped, my legs spread wide, Kade’s fingers parting me at the seam before his tongue lashes the part of me aching for him most.