Regret and longing sour in my gut as I grab my carry-on out of the top compartment once we land, wheeling it behind me. My mind races, trying to grasp words out of thin air, to string together the right declarations that will somehow prove to Adam that I’m still worthy of his love.
How can I convince him when I don’t even know that I believe it myself?
My phone pings to life when I turn it off airplane mode, texts from both Tera and Skyler filling the screen. They send pictures of their outfits, of them doing our sorority hand sign in front of the house, and the latest is them piled into the back of the limo, loading up to go to dinner and then to the venue.
Fire burns my chest as I type back that I miss them and hope they have the best time. Skyler just types in all caps GO GET YOUR MAN while Tera sends a string of emojis.
I’m still staring at the pictures when I hear my name called.
“Cassie?”
My feet stop moving.
My heart stops beating.
My lungs cease to provide air as the familiarity of that voice sinks in.
Everything comes back to life in slow motion, and I turn just the same, finding Adam sitting in a chair by gate C45. His phone balances in his hand, brows furrowed together as he blinks over and over like it can’t actually be me he’s seeing.
When he realizes it is, he’s off his feet in the next instant, his phone dropped on top of his duffle bag and left behind.
I immediately start to cry.
And then I’m swept into his arms.
I clutch him so tight my knuckles whiten, and he crushes me in return, soothing me as I sob and struggle to catch my breath.
“Cassie? What are you doing here?” he asks, but still, he holds me, kissing my hair before pulling back to search my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I didn’t want you to tell me not to.”
My bottom lip quivers with the admission, and Adam sighs, shaking his head and pulling me into his chest again. “Oh, baby. I would never say that.”
“Not even after the monster I’ve become?”
His laugh is soft, blowing up the tendrils of my messy hair. “You’re not a monster.”
“Sir,” a stern voice interrupts behind us. “Please don’t leave your bags unattended.”
It’s one of the flight attendants working the gate desk, and Adam nods, grabbing my hand and my bag before pulling us both over to where he was sitting. When we get there, he drops his hold on my bag, but keeps his hold on me.
“I’m supposed to be boarding a flight in twenty minutes,” he says with a laugh. “To come see you.”
I sniff, looking at the monitor behind him. Sure enough, Miami is written in big letters at the top.
“You were coming to see me?”
“I was going to crash semi-formal,” he says on another laugh. “I mean, come on — you know it’s my favorite thing to do when it comes to you.”
“I seem to remember it being me who crashed through your bedroom window last year.”
“True,” he admits. “And then we went to semi in our pajamas.”
The memory makes him smile, but it makes tears well in my eyes again, and I cover my mouth, shaking my head as they relentlessly fall free.
“Hey,” Adam says softly, pulling me into his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” I sob, wiping my nose with the back of my wrist as I press space between us. “Adam, why were you coming to me? I’m the one who messed up. I’m the one who… who…”
I can’t even finish the words, and Adam frowns, rubbing my arms. “Have you been torturing yourself this whole time?”
“How could I not?”
I sob harder, and Adam sighs, looking pointedly at an older man staring at us before saying, “A little privacy, please?” The man looks away, and Adam grabs our stuff and leads us to the corner of the waiting area, tucked between a wall and a window.
I finally find the strength to look into his eyes, my hands clinging to his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”
“I know,” he says. “I already know. Okay? Trust me — I’ve been on that side plenty of times to know you didn’t mean to hurt me, and even more that it meant nothing to you.”
“It didn’t,” I swear. “I was so drunk I don’t even remember it, which I hate admitting, but it’s true.”
Adam just smooths his hand up and down my arm for a long moment, letting me breathe, willing me to steady my racing heart. His touch alone is enough to do it, and slowly, my tears start to dry.
And then I hiccup.
Adam smiles. “There’s my girl.”
“I hate myself,” I whisper on another hiccup.