Sin I Rise: Part One (Sins of the Fathers 1)

Giovanni shook his head. “Marci, come on. We can even marry sooner if you want, then we can do whatever you want.”

Whatever I wanted? A new wave of undesirable feeling washed over me. “I’m sorry that it is such a burden for you to get physical with me.”

“It’s not, of course not. I desire you. You are a beautiful woman and I can’t wait to make love to you.”

He kissed my hand but I didn’t feel anything, and the idea of making love to Giovanni actually seemed less appealing than it ever had before. Giovanni’s eyes begged me to reconsider, but I clung to my resolve even as I felt guilty. It would only get worse if I ended it later, and I would end it eventually. I shook my head.

Giovanni’s grip on my wrist tightened. It wasn’t painful yet, but close. He leaned closer. “You know of our traditions. The Famiglia is still conservative. If you don’t marry me after dating me for two years, you’ll lose your honor.”

“We didn’t do anything except for kissing and the few boob squeezes and one crotch brush I forced onto you.”

“But people will think we did.”

I couldn’t believe his audacity. “Is that a threat?” I hissed, ready to smack him.

He quickly shook his head. “No, of course not! I’m just concerned about your reputation, that’s all.”

How considerate of him. “Amo’s slept with half of New York. If the conservatives want to tear into someone for their sexual practices, they should choose him.”

“He’s a man, you’re going to be ruined.”

“Bite me.” I paused. “Oh, I almost forgot that you can’t. You’d probably shit your pants from fear of my father. So go away.” I tried to jerk free of his grip, but he didn’t let go.

We hadn’t done half the things I wanted to, because Giovanni hadn’t wanted to risk it, and now he dared to blackmail me with everything we didn’t do but might have done? Asshole.

Something shifted down in the living room and Amo got up from the sofa where he’d apparently been busy with his phone and slowly came our way.

I narrowed my eyes at Giovanni. “Let me go right this second, or I swear you’re going to regret it.”

His eyes darted to the doorway where my brother was towering with a murderous look. Giovanni released me as if he’d been burned. “I have to go,” he said quickly. “I’ll call you tomorrow when you’ve had time to calm down.”

My eyes widened in fury. “Don’t you dare. We’re done.”

Amo came closer. “You’re leaving now.”

Giovanni turned and stalked toward the front door. Amo followed him and threw the door shut. Then he stalked toward me. I stood on the last step and he was still taller than me. His eyes burned with protectiveness. “What happened? Do you want me to go after him and kill him?”

When other brothers said those words to their sisters in a fit of protectiveness it was a figure of speech. Amo was deadly serious. If I said the words, he’d go after my ex-fiancé and end his life. Giovanni had pissed me off but he could find his happily ever after with someone else as far as I was concerned.

“Did he force you to do anything you didn’t want to do?”

Of course, he’d think that was the case. No one would believe I had to beg a man to touch me. “No,” I pressed out, feeling a treacherous heaviness in my throat and eyes. “Giovanni is Dad’s perfect lap dog, the restrained gentleman.”

Amo gave me a look that made it clear he worried for my sanity.

“If a girl was lying half-naked in front of you, would you tell her no?”

Amo’s lips tightened in discomfort. “Probably not. But I really don’t want to imagine you naked or having sex. If Dad knew, he’d kill Giovanni just because.”

“Why? Giovanni was a well-trained lapdog and didn’t dishonor me.” I gritted my teeth against the hot feeling in my eyeballs. I wasn’t going to cry because of Giovanni.

For a while, I’d been sure I loved him but now I realized I’d wanted to love him—had loved the idea of loving him. My relief over having put an end to this was too great for real love. Yet, sadness also settled deep inside of me. Sadness over wasted time or a future that was lost, I wasn’t sure. I had thought I could force love, could recreate what Mom and Dad had by sheer force of will, but I’d failed.

“I need to think,” I said and turned on my heel to head to my room. Amo was a great brother but talking relationships with him was moot.

The moment I stepped into my room, my eyes settled on the frame on my bedside table. It held a photo of Giovanni and me at our engagement party. Giovanni was beaming but my face seemed… off. I’d never noticed it before but I didn’t look like a woman in love with her fiancé. I looked like a woman doing her duty.