Sidelined

I wanted to write something about last night, or even about this morning. How fucking sexy she was. How she had stolen my breath with only a few spins in her special ballerina shoes.

I looked down when my phone vibrated. I smiled, hoping Natalia had sent me something in French. I loved it when she said something dirty. Something I’d never heard before or imagined.

I read the text in disbelief.

Can’t we at least talk? Meet for coffee?

Shit. It was Maddie again. I had to find a way to block her or I’d get a new number. It would be a pain in the ass, but it would be worth it not to have her contact me. Why was she doing this? Why was I suddenly her life line? I didn’t buy it.

No.

I wrote back. I turned my phone off. I wouldn’t respond to anything else. That was the last word she’d hear from me. I’d been done with her for years. She was the bitch who had cut me out. Now I’d be the dick who did the same thing.

The lights lowered and the film began to run.

Coach spoke into the microphone. “Guys, pay attention to this. It’s a play they ran last week. It worked, so we can expect to see it tomorrow.”

He got our attention and the room went silent. Everyone focused on the film. Everyone except me. All I could think about was a ballerina who was in my head.

Two hours later, I ran out of the meeting with the phone to my ear.

“Hey, you made it back okay?” Her voice sounded sweet.

“I drove straight to practice.” I walked to the end of the hallway where I could talk to her privately.

“Good. I’m glad you made it back.”

“What’s going on?”

She sighed. “I want to tell you yes, but I think we’re moving too quickly.”

I slammed my palm against my forehead. “It doesn’t feel like it’s too fast when we’re together, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. And I think that’s what scares me the most about it, Sam. Is this even real?”

I stared out the window at the indoor practice field. “It’s real for me. I’ve never asked someone to move in with me before. I want you here.” I could feel the tension gripping in my neck.

“I want to be there too, but I think we should try things like this for a while. Can we do that? Plan weekends? I’ll come see you next time. Or we can meet in the middle?”

“The middle? There’s nothing in the middle.” I was pissed, and my voice was getting louder.

“Okay, as soon as you left I started looking up some places and I found these cute cottages on Canyon Lake. We could rent one and no one would see us and we could spend time together.”

I huffed. “This is a fucking first.”

“Excuse me?”

“Most women want to be photographed and seen with me and you’re the exact opposite.”

“Sam, I tried to explain to you how important it is that I do this on my own. I don’t want a handout. If you can’t respect that I don’t want your money, then maybe this isn’t even worth trying.”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to fight with her. I didn’t want to push her away.

“I’m sorry, Natalia. I’m tired and it was a long meeting. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

There was silence on the other end.

“Natalia?”