Sweet Satisfaction

My hands landed on the button of her jeans. “I want you now,” I growled .

“Wait. Wait a second.” She took a big breath, pressing her palms into my chest .

I groaned. “We can talk later .”

She shook her head. “No. I have to tell you, Blake. Please. I-I have to say it .”

I dropped my hands. “Ok. What is it ?”

“I need to at least see your face.” She tried to flip on the lights, but nothing happened. She looked at the ceiling. “Great .”

“Let me check the breaker box. Hold on .”

I used my phone to light a path to the linen closest off the back of the kitchen. It smelled like fresh laundry even though the house had been closed up for months. I opened the box, but all the switches were on. I tried the main breaker. Nothing .

I heard Sierra’s footsteps behind me. “What’s wrong with the power ?”

“I think it’s been cut off .”

“What?”

“Have you been paying the power bills?” I asked .

She scrunched her face up. “I thought I did. I don’t know. There has been so much mail about the estate. Shit.” She sank onto a bench under a stack of blankets .

I was conflicted. Why was she here? She hadn’t bothered to pay the damn power bill .

“I think there are some candles in here.” She stood and started searching one of the cabinets. “They used to be in here with the matches for hurricanes. Aunt Lindy had everything we ever needed for a storm.” She strained to make it to the top cabinet .

“Let me get that.” I reached over her head and pulled out a stack of candles. I handed them to her. “And the matches .”

We dropped them in a row of mason jars and lit them with the wooden matches. Within seconds the room was glowing and felt warmer than it had when we first wandered in here .

“Sierra, tell me what’s going on. I about lost my damn mind when I saw you. And you reminded me that that’s what you do to me. You make me forget everything. I rushed you on the boat and back here like nothing happened .”

I shook my head. I saw the sadness in her eyes .

“And something did happen, damn it. You fucking broke my heart again. And you need to hear it. You have to hear what you did .”

The tears slipped off her lashes. “Blake…please …”

“Let me finish.” I held up my hand. “I’m not going through with it again. I won’t. So tell me now why you’re here and — ”

“Shut up, Blake. Ju

st shut up.” Her cheeks were wet with tears. “I flew here tonight because I wanted to see you. I had to see you. Today. It had to be today .”

I leaned against a stack of quilts. “Ok .”

“And I think I could throw up I’m so nervous.” She twisted her hands together .

I cocked my head. “What’s going on ?”

“I-I … Blake, I swear I didn’t know when I left in August. And I want to talk about that. How we left things .”

“I fucked up. You fucked up. I can agree to that. But we can’t go through that again. We can’t .”

She shook her head. “I know. I feel it too. I’ve felt all of it. It’s about this pattern we have of hurting each other. I want it to stop. I need it to .”