Don't Promise (Don't 3)

That life felt like it was millions of miles away when I was surrounded by desert huts. I thought I knew what it meant to appreciate the new life I had made, but I needed this kick in the balls to really get it.

If I made it out of here, I swore to God I’d never take what I had for granted again. It was one thing to be here as a bachelor, but it was a hell of a different story to be a father. To be the man Kaitlyn needed. Half my heart was in the States. The other half I tried to shut down, so I’d stop hurting so much every time I thought about her. Every time I thought about what it would do to her if I didn’t make it back.

“Why are we stopping?” I asked the sergeant driving our armored Jeep.

“Bomb squad is up ahead,” he explained. “I’m not driving around it.”

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Yeah, good call.”

We would have to sit until this section of the road was cleared for travel. I stepped out of the Jeep and took a sip of water from my canteen.

The mission was over, but I still had to get out of Kabatur. With the amount of landmines and snipers between here and the airport, that wasn’t going to be as simple as it sounded.

I had to get to the base without getting blown up.

I shielded my eyes from the sun. I wondered what Kaitlyn was doing right now. I hoped she was buried under wedding books and trying on her dress. I tried to picture her with her mom and her friends doing all the stuff girls did before their weddings.

I leaned against the Jeep and splashed my face with water. This wasn’t what I wanted to do days before my wedding. Ryan owed me a fucking bachelor party.

I hung my head and then the sergeant called my name.

“The road is clear. We can go, sir.”

I nodded and hopped in the passenger side. “How long until we make it to the perimeter?” I asked.

He careened around the patrol officers.

“Two hours? Maybe four if there are more bomb threats. I just drive.”

I looked at my watch. I was supposed to catch a flight to London tonight. I couldn’t get out of this hell hole fast enough.

“I heard your mission was a success, sir.”

He changed gears and pressed the pedal harder.

“Yeah. We got the bad guy.” The dust flew around us.

“Good to know there’s one less out there.”

I nodded. The problem was we took out one, but there were five more in his place. I had to remind myself I wasn’t the expert on those five. My knowledge ended. My usefulness to the Corps had an expiration. I had completed the mission.

I should be able to go home without the guilt that I should be doing more. That was the problem with this fucking place. It was addictive in a dark way I had to resist. I didn’t want to be here, but leaving felt just as wrong. There were men and women who would never leave. I took a deep breath. I pictured Kaitlyn.

I closed my eyes and imagined her in a white gown. I tried to see the snow falling in her hair.

The Jeep started to slow again. I opened my eyes.

“We’ve got another bomb squad, sir. I don’t know how long this one is going to last.”

“Fuck.” I hit the front of the seat.

24

Kaitlyn

“Nothing? Really, Ryan? Not a text? Nothing?” If I could claw it out of my brother I would.

He shook his head. “Look. Making calls from the desert isn’t that easy. If he had to rush to catch a flight, we wouldn’t hear from him,” he explained.