“I just told you I wanted you. I want you to come home with me. I want more than two days. Isn’t that what we were discussing? Two days isn’t enough. Isn’t that what you needed to hear from me?”
“We haven’t even started discussing it.” She placed the biscuit down. “I love my career. What about my apartment? My friends? The life I’ve had in Dallas for eight years? And I’m supposed to drop that and follow you to Florida?” Her eyes pierced the air. “And you’re ready to give up the life you had? Seriously? No more women. All the trips. The parties. That’s just done?”
“You’re getting caught up in fucking details.”
“Details matter, Blake.” She glared. “Summer romance is one thing. A relationship is something else.”
“We had a relationship.” I gritted my teeth.
“Is it always going to go back to that? Maybe you think you can forgive me, but really you’re always going to be mad about what I did.”
“I’m not.” But I could feel the anger in my veins. I clutched my fists. “An hour ago we were fucking like there were fireworks going off in this room. Now we’re arguing?”
“I guess so.” Her voice was quiet.
“Damn it.”
“What now?”
I exhaled. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe the details are too much.”
“I don’t want them to be. That’s not what I’m saying.”
I had cut myself off from feelings before. I never let it get this far. Why couldn’t I do it again? Just box her out. Shut things down.
23
Sierra
It was possible I might throw up. The happiness and bliss I had felt this morning was as fleeting as the tide.
I stared at Blake, not sure how we had shared so much but were now so far apart.
“I don’t want my last two days of the summer to be like this,” I tried to explain. “I’m happy with you. I’ve loved this week.”
There was something new in his eyes. Determination. Pain. I couldn’t figure it out.
“Then two days it is.”
“That’s it?” I asked. “You’re ok, with seeing how the two days go?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He shrugged, pushing himself off the bed. He walked to the bathroom.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” I held up one of the white paper bags.
“I think I’ll take a shower. Not that hungry.”
I didn’t want to correct him. He had been starving. So hungry he rushed to the grill.
“Ok.”
He closed the door behind him, and I wondered how in the hell we were going to make it through the next two days without breaking each other’s hearts all over again. It seemed like it might be the thing we were best at.
There had been so many things I had neglected since I’d left the island, I didn’t know where to start to repair them all.
Blake had left a few hours ago. He said he was supposed to meet Cole at the barn to talk about opening the boat business again to his family. I knew it wasn’t the right time to start asking questions.
This morning had been amazing and a disaster.