“Work,” I answered.
I felt a protectiveness about last night with Vaughn. I wasn’t ready to share. The note was tucked in the pocket of my robe.
Her eyebrows rose.
“And my client list is building up quickly,” I added. “It’s more demanding than I expected.”
“I know that feeling. I knew my job was going to be hard, but no one told me I wouldn’t have my own life anymore.”
“What’s going on with the senators?” I asked.
We sat together at the small bistro table in the corner. It was covered in mail neither one of us had opened.
She rolled her eyes. “Squabbling over contracts.”
“Oh?”
Greer nodded. “Weapons contracts. They have narrowed it down from five companies to three. But that’s all I can say. You know, my confidential oath and everything.”
“I understand. You don’t have to say anything else.”
“Sometimes I think it would be easier if I hadn’t taken a job with clearance requirements. I can’t even tell Preston half the stuff I’m upset about. It’s like I have half a conversation and have to leave all these blanks. He listens, but he doesn’t get it because I can’t tell him everything. That’s not normal is it?”
“I think maybe in this town it’s kind of normal.”
I felt as if I were doing the same thing, but not because I had sworn an oath.
“I guess you’re right.”
The sunlight dappled the hardwood floors. I looked at the clock.
“Shit. I have to get in the shower.” I pulled out my chair. “I don’t want to be late or my oh-so-pleasant officemate will make passive aggressive comments about it all day.” I turned to leave.
“Not going well?”
“She’s not the worst, I guess. Have a good day. I’ll see you…”
Greer sat at the table, holding her mug. “I’m not sure. The contract issue has me working non-stop. Maybe tomorrow night.”
I smiled. “Sounds good.”
I walked in my room and started my morning ritual.
Addie beat me to the office. She was on the phone when I walked in. I set up my laptop and scrolled through my schedule for today. I had a meeting with Max Harrison. It was the first of several mentor check-ins for the year.
The entire process was one giant interview. I knew when I made it to the end I could interview at other places. I didn’t have to stay at American. I didn’t have to put in for one of the teaching positions. I was trying to get my footing. I didn’t want to think about what happened ten months from now.
The reason I moved to D.C. was to give myself options. To explore something new. I didn’t like that somewhere in the back of my head I had the idea that staying at American would be better if I wanted some kind of future with Vaughn.
It was still too early to try to call Garrett. He hadn’t texted or called last night. I felt guilt worm through me. I hadn’t thought about him until now. The desperation I had felt vanished when Vaughn came over.
Did that make me a terrible sister? Did it make me heartless and cold? Was I so used to Garrett’s threats and wild ideas that I could ignore them for a night when he may have needed me most? Who was more selfish?
I twisted my hands together. I no longer saw the images on my screen. I was lost. I needed more coffee—or air. I needed space away from the incessant clicking that came from Addie’s tongue when she spoke.
I mouthed to her that I’d be back in a few minutes. I pushed through the lobby, ignoring the long faces of the women already lined up for the morning. Meg looked confused.
“Be right back,” I explained.